But my mind kept coming back to the situation during the day and regretting it. This evening, as I was praying to Mother for something completely unrelated, I remembered her and told Mother, “I know that the Divine very well knows me more than I know myself, and the Divine will arrange whatever is best for me regardless of my personal preferences, attachments, or desires.” Even a funny thought popped up in my head, “It would be very funny if I saw her when I leave my building”. Can you imagine what a shock I experienced inside myself when I saw her in 2 minutes outside? I saw her maybe 4-5 times in the whole time in the last 3 months, and yet I see her at night all of a sudden? I wanted to come up so bad, but she was talking on her phone and walking quickly, so I had to let it go. But internally, I still can’t understand the meaning of this sign. Why was this situation arranged if there was no possibility of any action on my part? And what could the origin of this attraction be? Merely vital, or could there be a deeper component to it? I have no idea, but I remain resolved to take action next time, even if inside I have many doubts and even a certain nervousness about it all!
Situations and circumstances are generally not due to the Mother’s intervention or because of Her sanction. Things often come due to concealed desires that are strong enough to influence the circumstances. Though they may seem like a sanction from the Divine, they are part of the normal play of nature. Even when there is a Divine sanction, it is often because we have to go through certain experiences and grow through them.
This does not mean we cannot and should not ask the Divine for our desires. We can, and it is always best to be frank with the Divine, telling Her all that is going on in your mind. By doing so, by concealing nothing from the Divine, we go through whatever pleasant or painful experiences that may come to us, but surrounded by a circle of safety that protects us from serious consequences. The Divine gives us a great freedom, even to err, and allows us to make mistakes and learn, thereby sanctioning even demands that may not be the wisest thing to do. But when She is kept directly in the picture, then we go through it shielded.
The Mother explains this working in one of her conversations below.
‘You must accept all things—and only those things—that come from the Divine. Because things can come from concealed desires. The desires work in the subconscious and bring things to you which, although you may not recognise them as such, nevertheless do not come from the Divine but from disguised desires.
You can easily know when a thing comes from the Divine. You feel free, you are at ease, you are in peace. But when something presents itself to you and you jump at it and cry out, “Oh, at last I have it”, then you can know for certain that it does not come from the Divine. Equanimity is the essential condition of union and communion with the Divine.
Does not the Divine sometimes give what you desire?
Certainly. There was a young man who wanted to do Yoga. But he had a mean and cruel father who troubled him very much and tried to prevent him from doing it. He wished ardently to be free from the father’s interference. Soon the father fell ill and very seriously; he was about to die. Whereupon the other side of the boy’s nature rose up and he loudly bewailed the misfortune and cried, “Oh, my poor father is so ill! It is such a sad thing. Alas, what shall I do?” The father got well. The young man rejoiced and turned once more to Yoga. And the father also began again to oppose and torment him with redoubled violence. The son tore his hair in despair and cried, “Now my father stands in my way more than ever.” The whole thing is to know exactly what one wants.’
(Ref. https://incarnateword.in/cwm/03/14-april-1929#p18)
Affectionately,
Alok Da
