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Dr.Alok Pandey

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AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER

Relationships

I have a very weird relationship with my parents when it comes to their relationships with their parents. I don’t share a very happy relationship with my grand parents due to their behavior with me and my family earlier in my life. They do not fit in my circle of people and i have communicated to my parents clearly that i will only have a cordial relationship with them, in terms of only greeting when we meet. I prefer to keep my wife and kid away from the grand parents influence, however my father’s expectation on this is more and we have a tiff every time an incident happens. I have come to terms with this situation, however how do I communicate this to my parents clearly and againšŸ˜ ?

January 19, 2025

Communication is mainly meant to build bridges by expressing what is going on within oneself. The purpose is to help build a bond of deeper

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I quit my job after 8 years. However there are still some aspects of the job for which I am responsible. The company has committed to me to remunerate for the work that I will do staying out of the system. However I think if they are irresponsible enough not to hire some one to replace me, why should I be involved. Moreover since the owners don’t care about their company and not hiring some one, why should I be emotionally involved and not move on. The only reason I agreed to do some work is my healthy relationship with my immediate boss. Please advise if I should continue helping them or notšŸ™„.

January 18, 2025

Your decision to help or not to help should not be based on the owner’s approach towards the company but on factors personal to you.

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Before coming to the Mother, I used to give my everything to my friends around me even at the expense of myself. However, I always have given my all to these friends, and yet when I needed them most, the majority were not there for me. The girl I considered my best friend literally does nothing for me, even on my birthday. For a while I thought that it was because she just didnā€™t know how to express but yet she does so much for my other friends. So clearly she can but she doesnā€™t want to for me. This broke my heart. I know expectations spoil love, and I need to purify it, but itā€™s still hurtful to see. Now some new friends are slowly coming into my life, but my closest friends in the past are those whom have hurt me quite hard a few times and now I just donā€™t even see the point in making new friends. For me, Mother, Sri Aurobindo and my sister give me all the friendship I need. But even in the Ashram, there were beautiful friendships. But now šŸ˜”

January 13, 2025

The urge to be alone, the dropping off of old friends, the inner distancing from old ties, the new preferences indicating progress in different dimensions

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Many times I feel a burden with my relationship with my sibling, though he is an middle aged adult, my parents treat him like a child and they expect me to do so, our relationship is one sided one as I can hardly can rely on him, where else everything I am expected to do for him. Here I am not complaining as I donā€™t feel itā€™s right to constantly protect and spoil someone like a baby when I do not do that same things for my own childrenšŸ™„, how can I manage this as all this hinders in my work and my purpose of life?Ā 

January 13, 2025

Relationships need to be nurtured from both the sides, otherwise it is not a relationship but a sacrifice. And sacrifice of this kind, done out

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I have faced failure in 4-5 relationships with women, and it always feels like, in the end, they find a reason to leave me. Despite my efforts to make things work, this recurring pattern has left me deeply hurt, alone, and emotionally broken. There are times when the loneliness becomes unbearable, and I canā€™t help but wonder if thereā€™s something inherently wrong with me, if Iā€™m destined to face these struggles in relationships, or if I am meant to remain single foreveršŸ˜Ŗ.

January 11, 2025

It is difficult to comment on personal aspects. But man-woman relationship is a science as well as an art, especially a capacity to feel the

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Young people nowadays prefer casual relationships. Even serious relationships outside of marriage have the drawback that the partners are conditioned to be ready to withdraw any moment, undermining the basis of life-long relationships. I, as many people, donā€™t live in one place ā€” I travel due to my work and studies. In such a context it is hard to be in a serious relationship that would lead to a marriage. The question is: how do people like myself who still have a desire to engage in romantic relationships find their way out of this dilemmašŸ˜Æ?

January 7, 2025

I don’t think there can be a how to it. Love either happens or does not happen. As to the stability of a relationship, physical

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I have a boyfriend, but my mom doesn’t like him. Whenever I ask my mom why she doesn’t like him, she says it’s because he doesn’t show her respect. She had certain expectations from him, and he hasn’t met them. When I tell my boyfriend about this, he doesn’t want to listen. He says he can’t change how he feels from within. I feel stuck in between. My mom is telling me to break up with him because she thinks heā€™s not a good match. I have heavy pressure from both sides. Now, I donā€™t know what to do? Because of this situation, I canā€™t focus on my work properly, and Iā€™m also having trouble concentrating on Mother’s book reading and other stuffšŸ˜­.

December 29, 2024

Well friendship is one thing and marriage quite another. In friendship it is enough that two people respect and trust each other though even there,

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Me and my wife used to fight a lot on various thingsā€¦.we went through this phase for more than 4-5 years. Two major points of our fights was (1) me not being straightforward in my communication and actions (2) Me not being like her father. We went through therapy and a lot of hard times to get through that phase and now we are kind of over it. Now she blames me for being too straight forward and being too much like her dad. Please advice what should I doā€¦..I canā€™t go back to being to old person I wasšŸ˜¬?

December 28, 2024

Instead of trying to be what your wife or someone else would want you to be, try to discover what you are and want to

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