AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Relationships

What about expectations? – carving my own path is going against everyone’s expectations – my moms that I’m not the classic marriage is my dream and fantasy kind of girl drooling over every boy I meet or not into makeup and things – my dads thinks he made me too independent. How do they not understand that I am the person I am and they need to accept it not control it?💒💍💑🫶

Whether right or wrong one should follow the path directed by one’s own temperament and inner need. Others, including parents, understand only if your needs

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In my college, I have a friend who is a good person, but she often speaks in a low-energy, negative way—mainly complaining, criticizing, or focusing on things she wants but doesn’t have. I’ve tried explaining that this kind of conversation affects me and makes me uncomfortable, but there hasn’t been much change. Even after keeping some distance, she doesn’t seem to understand. Whenever we meet, either I end up hurting her by not engaging much, or she starts the same low-energy conversations again. I don’t want to hurt her, but I’m not sure how to handle the situation.🙄🗣️🙅‍♀️☁️

You can try explaining to her that a critical negative attitude towards others harms both. It only strengthens this tendency. Everyone has their faults and

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Since one year I am facing lot of issues related to relations. I am not capable of maintaining relations with relatives which I never did before. At home also, I talk very little as I want to avoid any arguments. With spouse we have a relation of mutual respect, partnership, freedom and working towards common goal, still I cannot open up totally and opinions differ. 🙅‍♂️💥🙅‍♀️👤 ↔️ 👤

One should focus primarily on one’s own inner growth and outer progress first. Relations are quite a waste of time. Yes one should have a

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 I have a request that kindly dispel one very common misconception, very very widespread even amongst saints and spritual people. As far as I understand only enlightened beings, sages, masters or may be one who is highly evolved can be nishkaam. Those who are so unconscious and full of darkness, just by producing kids how come they become so great …I have personaly experienced too much resistance to my spritual inclination by my mother and I see parents playing havoc with the lives of daughter in laws.☀️🌱🌊🧘

I understand your point completely. Not sure about the saints who say that one should completely subordinate oneself to parents, family, etc. If they say

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I know my question may sound a little funny, but it is a very serious matter for me. God has designed the human body so perfectly — every organ performs its function with remarkable efficiency. Yet when it comes to the heart, I often feel confused. Why is the heart “programmed” in such a way that when someone enters it, it can take years to forget them, bringing so much pain and emotional turmoil?🚶🧘💪💔

Yes, the very same memories that help connect the dots of life become a source of pain when the heart-strings are snapped suddenly. The root

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Sir as already mentioned I have only the Mother to cry when I have been through suffering. If a person in 50s have approached to marry me and I like some of his qualities and I am disliking others. I have taken wrong decision in the past by applying for Divorce and as I don’t wish to repeat it again by taking wrong decision; however unable to confirm if the Mother wants this man in my life or not, what should I do?💍 … 🤷‍♂️⬅️ 🧍 ➡️

While this is a decision that only you can take, I can only provide some general guidance in this matter.

First and foremost relationships

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I am 45 years old. My father passed away in 2021. When he was bedridden and unable to walk, my sister-in-law treated him very poorly. My brother’s behavior was equally bad; he would visit like a ‘visiting doctor’ for just a few minutes and stay away so that my father wouldn’t even see him. Even when I told him that Father was calling for him, he refused to come.💔🛤️↔️

I completely understand your pain. As this is growing more common and since we cannot change people, the only workable solution is to have proper

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How can an unsuccessful marriage where the aim of one partner is to lead the spiritual life and the other the life full of desires, be made an opportunity for progress? Sometimes the person who aims at leading the spiritual life is forced to tell a lie to make some compromise or avoid a dispute, despite being fully aware that speaking untruth is a stumbling block on the path of sadhana. How can this situation be obviated? 🧩🔀🙅↔️

If such is the case then marraige is a facade and unlikely to be a help for the progress of either partner. A commonality of

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Arranged marriages are definitely outdated now right? Marrying for money position status security family – that doesn’t bring happiness or work anymore na – unless only chasing social society material fanciness. It’s rarely in today’s time day and age will lead to love right? Or understanding. Based on survival principles . Not really on matching of 2 people right🤝👵👴🏡

Marraiges are of different types and different levels. The lowest is based on pure physical-vital attraction and an affinity of sensations. Higher than that is

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