I clearly see my life has been revolving around trying to change people and I shouldn’t have. And I also ended up changing myself. Ironically or funnily, people around have said things like a partner or a job can change a person. Only the non-changing Divine can be a reference?
What happens when someone never realises the need for inner growth? Mostly, I have seen people continue to be obnoxiously themselves because things happen their way and there is no evident need to change and I don’t wish for them to experience bad stuff to change. So how can I help them? Or should I just let them go through life with faith in Grace?
For instance, we have been asking a troubled friend who lives in Pondicherry to go to the Ashram and sit by the Samadhi. No amount of coordination or hand-holding has worked! Not even out of curiosity.
How can one influence or ignite a spark? Is that the job of Grace? I am asking so I don’t end up overextending when I hear troubled life stories and repeat my cycle of ignorance!! Maybe if I drop this idea, I want to help people, I will stop attracting situations like that.
Thank you for your patience and guidance.
Your guidance is my reminder of how beautifully Mother’s Grace is at work in spite of crazy times!
The Divine is the unchanging stable basis of everything, but He is also in the change. That is why people are compelled to change despite the resistances. But when one changes willingly, then the process is smoother and less painful.
It is alright to help someone if we have the knowledge of their true destiny, the path that destiny has prepared for them and the play of forces at a given point in time. Otherwise, the simplest and often the best way is to pray for them, maybe say a word or two from a quiet inner space in a state of true inspiration. Otherwise, it is best not to interfere, especially with mental ideas of what may or may not be good. What is good and works for one person does not necessarily work for another. The Mother and Sri Aurobindo are the highest solution to the human condition, but not all are ready to listen to them. They have to go through certain experiences through lives, try out different things before they are ready. It is best, therefore, not to interfere unless someone specifically asks for it or one is deeply moved to do so. A premature cutting off of the caterpillars constricting cover may relieve the constriction for a while, but it also aborts the emergence of the butterfly.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
