Or Shaivats Shankara followers. They stick to their Guru and His philosophy very seriously. But I, being blessed with Deeksha, from a living Divine Avatar, wandering like an orphan, knocking at everybody’s door for guidance, help and support, without doing my Guru’s order.
This thought is making me sad and ashamed, that I want to do total surrender at His feet, doing His Dyana, and leading the life as I am directed. Though I know it very well, I never follow my Guru seriously. I really wish and pray that. Leaving my spiritual destiny to my Guru completely, let me become His true disciple, as you are to The Mother and Sri Aurobindo.
On the other hand, I am not doing what is expected of me by them. Serious devotees everywhere, stick to their Guru, His guidance, His words and His service to the best of their ability. Whereas I am jumping from place to place, leaving my home, knocking at everybody’s door for help, support and guidance.
The comparison is incorrect because in all these places that you mention, there have also been disciples, even prominent ones such as TV Kapalishastri from the Ramana Maharishi tradition, who came and made their surrender at the feet of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, not because one is greater than the other, but because they found the teaching more complete and answering their deepest aspiration. The difficulty comes when devotees get attached to the outer form and miss the core divine element, the truth of teaching, the aspect of the Divine that the guru represents. Each guru brings out and represents an aspect of the Divine. He mediates between the human soul and the aspect of the Divine that he represents. One has to be clear about what one is truly seeking. The path depends upon the goal one aspires for.
It is the aspiration that gives the energy for progress, to serve, to surrender. That is the fire of the Vedas, the Agni to whom the Rishi of the Isha Upanishad prays to show the right path. In ancient times, disciples went in search of the guru based on what they were seeking. We have lost that truth and hence the confusion. In fact, in every Ashram there are plenty, the majority, I would say, who continue staying because it becomes a new comfort zone, a place where they get the opportunity for Satsang and the provision of basic needs. The real seekers are very, very few everywhere.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
