AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER

This is a very serious question. When I started getting connected to The Mother and Sri Aurobindo a year back , listening your talks, going to Delhi ashram, reading the books, I used to feel so close to them, my aspiration was high, I used to be conscious of them, Sincere in my works and offerings.But now when I have spent more than a year in Delhi and college, specially giving alot energy to my relationship, as I took lots of ups and downs, indulging in music societies, and hence getting into all the lower activities like spending time with people with ordinary life and lower tendencies. I did this mistake for a very long time. I’m in my hometown for diwali holidays, far away from everything, everyone. When I sit alone and try to feel her presence and introspect. I see that the flame is not the same, the spark has gone, although I know that I’m for her, I have to live for her, but certainly my aspiration is not the same. I feel myself far from her. The wanting, the curiosity, the questioning mind, the will to grow, everything has come to a static state. I know you can understand, please help me, what can I do, I don’t want to live an ordinary life, I want to live for her, only for her, her ,her🙏. 

These ups and downs come to everyone. One has to persist and persevere through it all refusing to give up. One has to keep learning one’s lessons, keep growing more and more conscious, keep remembering the Mother even if mechanically, read Their works as it is a very simple way to remain in contact with and open to The. For the rest everything will come with passage of Time.

Read especially the chapter on Four Aids from the Synthesis of Yoga.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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