The ancient rituals for the departed were based on an occult knowledge that has now been lost. Its purpose was to dissolve the vital sheath of the departed. After shedding the physical body, the soul travels in the subtle body. During this transition, it is susceptible to all kinds of forces in the vital world. It also tries to make contact with those left behind and absorbs their grief and suffers. The rituals were meant to facilitate this journey and help the soul cross over from the vital to the mental and psychic world.
However, though the rituals are there but there are very few left who have the occult knowledge and the capacity. Hence, the ritual becomes a lifeless thing that hardly helps, much like trying to fly an airplane simply by reading a book. Hence, for our present age, the Mother and Sri Aurobindo have advised us to simply spend a few moments every day sending thoughts of love and peace to the departed. Crying and grief, etc, disturb the journey of transition. So best is to think about the person kindly and offer his being consciously to the Mother.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
