Put very simply, from the energy point of view, the energy that goes into sexual reproduction is the same energy that, if conserved and sublimated, goes into the new creation. But this implies not just an external control and inner repression but also an upliftment of the energy towards higher states by the fire of aspiration. This is known to all who practice Brahmacharya in the proper way. However, in normal life, sexual reproduction has its place and role and the practice of Brahmacharya is advocated mainly for those who aspire for a higher life. To simply exercise outer control while inwardly indulging in sexual thoughts and imaginations is rather a risky affair. The right way is to practice Sanyama, regulation, moderation, control, followed by nigraha, mastery, when the impulse has been weakened.
It is also important to understand that spiritual life is a package where the most important aspects are aspiration, faith, surrender, a growing sincerity and rejection of all that stands in its way. Mere sexual suppression is not enough and if not accompanied by other more positive elements, especially faith, aspiration, surrender, it may derail the journey. Sexual mastery is among the most difficult aspects of nature and it is better to let the other positive elements of yoga develop, such as peace, equanimity, etc., before one can take this bull by the horns. Meanwhile, one can practice a certain degree of self-control and especially be conscious and vigilant about all that triggers this impulse in oneself and others, especially dress, gestures, etc.
Here is a letter from Sri Aurobindo in this regard, which is quite comprehensive.
‘It is a fact that sex suppressed in outward action but indulged in other ways may lead to disorders of the system and brain troubles. That is the root of the medical theory which discourages sexual abstinence. But I have observed that these things happen only when there is either secret indulgence of a perverse kind replacing the normal sexual activity or else an indulgence of it in a kind of subtle vital way by imagination or by an invisible vital interchange of an occult kind,—I do not think harm ever occurs when there is a true spiritual effort at mastery and abstinence. It is now held by many medical men in Europe that sexual abstinence, if it is genuine, is beneficial; for the element in the retas which serves the sexual act is then changed into its other element which feeds the energies of the system, mental, vital and physical—and that justifies the Indian idea of Brahmacharya, the transformation of retas into ojas and the raising of its energies upward so that they change into a spiritual force.
As for the method of mastery, it cannot be done by physical abstinence alone—it proceeds by a process of combined detachment and rejection. The consciousness stands back from the sex-impulse, feels it as not its own, as something alien thrown on it by Nature-force to which it refuses assent or identification—each time a certain movement of rejection throws it more and more outward. The mind remains unaffected; after a time the vital being which is the chief support withdraws from it in the same way, finally the physical consciousness no longer supports it. This process continues until even the subconscient can no longer rouse it up in dream and no farther movement comes from the outer Nature-force to rekindle this lower fire. This is the course when the sex-propensity sticks obstinately; but there are some who can eliminate it decisively by a swift radical dropping away from the nature. That however is more rare.
It has to be said that the total elimination of the sex-impulse is one of the most difficult things in sadhana and one must be prepared for it to take time. But its total disappearance has been achieved and a practical liberation crossed only by occasional dream-movements from the subconscient is fairly common.
I have not said [in the preceding letter] that the sex-impulse has not been mastered in other Yogas. I have said that it is difficult to be free from it entirely and that the attempt at sublimation as in the Vaishnava sadhana has its dangers. That is evidenced by all one knows of what has frequently and even largely happened among the Vaishnavas. Transcendence and transformation are different matters. There are three kinds or stages of transformation contemplated in this sadhana, the psychic transformation, the spiritual and the supramental. The first two have been done in their own way in other Yogas; the last is a new endeavour. A transformation sufficient for spiritual realisation is attainable by the two former; a transformation sufficient for the divinisation of human life is, in my view, not possible except by a supramental change.’
(Ref. https://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/sex#p64)
Affectionately,
Alok Da
