Alok da, some time back I had an argument with my mother as she said I was rude with my brother and so first I told her she is making a big deal while me and my brother are fine and then the argument got into shouting when she was lecturing me about being an elder sibling and my responsibility blah blah blah and when I told her that, “Well please first see how you both are with your siblings and the example you set then tell me”, and I know that I am much better and more responsible than them😠, so of course the situation went out of hand and she created a tantrum for a week, I know I was not in the wrong but I am just curious how can this situation be handled better? Can a child not tell a parent that you should practice before you preach? 

Certainly one should be free to discuss freely and frankly with parents, teachers, elders everyone. Nachiketa, Prahlad, Lakshman, Sita are all examples among many others. The criteria of choices should be truth (dharma) and not outer respect and forced obedience as we see in the case of Vibhisana, Rama, Krishna, Arjuna among many others. We always had a culture of free discussion based on how each one understood dharma, the cornerstone of Indian life. 

I don’t think you could have handled better except that over the years one knows whether discussion is useful. If it is not going to be of any help in increasing mutual comprehension and understanding, especially if it is only going to worsen things then perhaps it is best avoided with a powerful silence as the main reply. Also pointing out her mistake was perhaps not a good idea. It only creates resistance and friction which only makes matters worse. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da