I did progress in my studies, especially in Knowledge. However, I could never become a truly brilliant student in at least one subject, no matter how much effort I put in. Is there a reason why some of us remain mediocre, despite all the efforts?
It depends upon what we call as a talent. If it means a latent exceptional capacity, a capacity that stands out before others, then it is certainly not a common acquisition. What is however true is that each nature has something uniquely one’s own which if discovered and developed can help one evolve along the lines intended by destiny and if placed in the service of the Divine can be of great service to the world. Sri Ramakrishna is an outstanding example of a spiritual genius who otherwise would not be regarded as someone exceptional from the worldly standpoint. But his disciple Swami Vivekanand had an exceptional memory and intelligence that the world could recognise. But the beauty of creation is that even mediocrity has its great use and purpose as it gives a certain widening and humility that is very useful from the higher spiritual point of view. It is somewhat like the grass that bears neither flower or fruit and yet is indispensable in any garden. Here is a little conversation of the Mother in this regard.
‘I remember that one of the first things I asked Sri Aurobindo when I came here, after innumerable experiences and innumerable realizations, was, “Why am I so mediocre?… Everything I do is mediocre, all my realizations are mediocre, there’s never anything remarkable or exceptional—it’s just average. It isn’t low, but it’s not high either—everything is average.” And that’s really how I felt. I painted: it wasn’t bad painting, but many others could do as well. I played music: it wasn’t bad music, but you couldn’t say, “Oh, what a musical genius!” I wrote: it was perfectly ordinary. My thoughts slightly excelled those of my friends, but nothing exceptional; I had no special gift for philosophy or whatever. Everything I did was like that: my body had its skills, but nothing fantastic; I wasn’t ugly, I wasn’t beautiful… you see, everything was mediocre, mediocre, mediocre, mediocre. Then he told me, “It was indispensable.”‘
So make the best of what one has been given without measuring, judging or comparing. It is our unique road to fulfilment.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
I hope I can discover my own true nature one day. I was also surprised reading Mother’s experience but what did Sri Aurobindo mean, when he said that it was indispensable?
People who specialise in one direction often do it at the expense of other aspects of life. A highly intellectual person often has an unrefined heart and crude passions, an expert in music does not understand science and vice versa. Whereas someone who develops holistically may seem mediocre but from the integral yoga point of view it is so much better.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
