I need to know Java as basic knowledge for a course called ‘Data Structures and Algorithms’ in order to get even a chance at acceptance at the top university for a masters in computer science 💻/ cybersecurity, even though the track I would be selecting is ‘Policy’ (because I don’t have an undergraduate CS degree and rather a business degree) which does not require much programming in the grand scheme of things. I have a few dilemmas. One is that this entire path to achieve a masters is not appealing to me because of the debt it will create for me, although my father is willing to support me for the entire cost, I will still owe him and it will also be a huge pressure to not fail because he has set some expectations along with loaning me the money. The other dilemma is that the content itself is a bore. The only way to learn is by staring at a screen for 23 hours of the day out of 24. If I really committed to this, my reality is to just sit and stare at my laptop to go through course content (which is online) and even if I found an in person course to take, the content itself is such a bore! It’s absolute gibberish… I don’t have any passion or interest in this subject and yet I have advertised myself as such because my current role is as a business development associate for an IT/cybersecurity organization, where creating your own brand is valuable in finding opportunities, networking etc. and I’ve even told my father and rest of my family that I am committed to starting to get the masters degree next year and have taken baby steps towards this path.I’ve realized their concern is just that I push myself and don’t stay in one place, and that masters is the only way to get real paying opportunities in the field I am in. That may be true, but I abhor sitting all day and staring at a screen when I know other careers exist that can also pay just as well and don’t require me to do that. I recently discovered a path which I think could be better suited for me, and that is skilled trades, such as an electrician. As a woman, this a less common route to take, and often when women do take it, it is because they are coming from low income and this career pathway is well funded by the US government, so it is very inexpensive, and also women who are able to handle well the type of men we generally should avoid, like those from an incarcerated background. So ultimately my dilemma is, how do I explain to my family these thoughts when I have grown a lot from the past and this will re-ignite all their doubts about me because I have made many mistakes which have been rash and caused them to lose trust or faith in my ability to think clearly?

How do I not let their doubts and fears being projected on to me, get in the way of my attempt at this new path? Sometimes it feels annoying to tell my family anything, but I have to, because I need their help financially. I know them so well, and I am generally right too. Regardless of what I do to prove that I have changed and become responsible, it seems they will continue to project their fears and doubts onto me. How would you go about this, and is it right to consider a different path?I think I have a strong enough support system (Mother and Sri Aurobindo) to combat any situation in the electrician field. However, I understand I should consider my family’s concerns as they are simply looking out for me and could also be right in their doubts and fears… it just sucks that that is their immediate reaction rather than excitement or acceptance without question when I bring up something new to them. It’s immediately just concern, doubt, and fear. In any event, how do I know what’s the right decision, I’ve been mulling this over in my head for days and getting anxious about the thought of bringing it up because it’s another thing for them to put me down about. Every time I try to focus on learning Java I lose interest because deep down I just don’t want to code or learn or have anything to do with learning on the screen.. I am trying to get Mother’s guidance on whether this is just another desire I am creating for myself or if it is a genuine calling which I can pursue… I might also add that the tech industry is extremely competitive, even for people with a computer science degree, and this is lowering my motivation to get into the field because it’s such a battlefield.Honestly I am confused why it’s such a high valued career because it’s so boring and people make it seem to be like it’s not, but to sit in a chair ALL DAY (something I currently do 8-5 and really dislike) and then stare at the laptop screen FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (also do this daily and strongly dislike), just for the money, seems ridiculous to me. I guess, if I look at it the other way, being an electrician would mean I’m doing a lot of work that’s gruelling (personally it seems more rewarding and valuable to be skilled at something like that…) and I know ultimately it’s a choice I have to make. However, some guidance from you and Mother would be nice, because of the whole family situation I explained. Thank you!!!!

You should listen to the impulsion in your heart, whether it pays much or not, whether family will understand and support you or not, whether it is regarded as high end job or not looked upon with respect. Follow the deepest instinct and passion of the heart. Also in realistic terms and from what you describe, skilled work seems the best for you. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da