These ups and downs come to everyone. One has to persist and persevere through it all refusing to give up. One has to keep learning one’s lessons, keep growing more and more conscious, keep remembering the Mother even if mechanically, read Their works as it is a very simple way to remain in contact with and open to The. For the rest everything will come with passage of Time.
Read especially the chapter on Four Aids from the Synthesis of Yoga.
Affectionately,
Alok Da