It is important to be sure of being the soul mate or at least a deeper soul link. The difference between the usual extra marital affairs and a genuine soul companion is that the former is motivated by the desire self such as seeking for physical or vital pleasure or satisfying some emotional hunger or suppressed frustration.
There is another kind of closeness that may develop between a man and a woman which is not actually an extra marital affair (though perhaps that is how it will be called) but the discovery of a true friend and companion one longed for, those who genuinely understand each other because of some complimentary aspects which may not be there in the typical marriage especially when it takes place at a young age when one is moved by vital desires of every kind. It is an issue that has to be seen in the background of a society largely governed by seeking for pleasure, social fears, lying, deceit and hypocrisy. This is more of the nature of true friendship sometimes due certain complimentary aspects and affinities. Since society generally does not accept or acknowledge this, the whole relationship takes a wrong turn. A classical example of such a true complimentarity is between Sri Krishna and Draupadi where they came together for a common work.
This latter soul companionship is a deeper movement of the heart surging from the depths for no apparent outer cause and more importantly a coming together and joining in a common work for a higher purpose or Divine Service. Sometimes the soul mate can sometimes declare itself through series of dreams or vision. Whatever it be, if one is fortunate to be thus brought together one should not forget the great purpose that has brought them together and ensure that the relationship does not degrade into a typical pleasure seeking zone. It calls for constant mastery over the desire self, a kind of tapasya. The more one is able to master the restless intrusion of desires, the deeper the love grows. The house of true love cannot be built on the shifting sands of vital desires but on the solid ground of common aspiration and divine service.
It is natural in a movement of deep love to be together but one should offer this to the Divine who alone should be the Master of destiny and let Him take care of the Time and Circumstances rather than doing anything precipitous under the impulsion of the vital. It is the Divine who brings such beings together and it is He who takes care of the future togetherness and everything else.
Hope this answers at all the levels?
Affectionately,
Alok Da
