What to do in situations when you feel uncomfortable going to social functions because of people getting drunk there, etc. when it’s your close relative’s invitation😥? Socially, it would be considered rude and devious to decline attending such events. In terms of one’s career, it can even be harmful to do so because you will miss out on a lot of business opportunities, as ridiculous as it may sound. But on the other hand, I find myself really feeling uncomfortable in such events, almost suffocating. Is it okay to openly share that due to your spiritual path, you don’t want to engage in such activities, or is it better to come up with some excuse or other, such as you have some important work to do, etc? This is a situation I’m facing on a regular basis, and so far I’ve only been submitting to the pressure, to my own discomfort and dissatisfaction.

I can understand this very well having gone through it during my Air Force days. I can share my formula with you and it is very simple. It is this that one should do what one believes to true and right regardless of what others think about it. Each of us are responsible only for our own actions and nobody else. If people ask we can simply say that it is a conscious decision, a choice you have made. There is no need to give any further reason or to give any excuse since you are answerable only for your work and not for your way of life which is a purely personal choice. If someone tries to press you to drink refuse it politely but firmly. Most people wouldn’t care as long as you are kind and helpful, full of goodwill and respect the choices that others make without passing censure or judgment upon them. If you remain consistent in your approach people will eventually hold you in esteem as a man of integrity. This kind of drink and party culture doesn’t really lead to success in business whatever people may believe in. What brings success in business is honesty, trust, integrity. One is much more comfortable dealing with men and women of integrity than those with whom they can dine and drink and dance. Truly speaking career depends mainly on the quality of your work and your goodwill in dealing with colleagues, subordinates and superiors. It is only those who are not good at their work or feel in some way insecure and underconfident about themselves who resort to such cheap methods where, at the end of it all, one realises that one lost one’s soul as well as the pot of porridge for which one sold it. 

Take it as an advice from someone who has experienced all this first hand.

Affectionately,

Alok Da