But if they start taking a deep interest in Themselves, reading Their works, connecting to Them directly, or trying to follow Their path, then I feel an inner resistance and discomfort. A kind of jealousy arises; I don’t want them to follow Sri Maa and Sri Aurobindo. Why do I feel this way, and how can I work through or transform this tendency?
It is because the ego takes over and wants to be the sole mediator between Sri Aurobindo and the person. Try to practice nishkama karma even work for the Divine and keep reminding yourself that we are just a small little instrument, quite imperfect, for Their Work. And if the Divine Mother uses us in certain ways to communicate something of Their teachings, it is Her Grace and not any special merit of mine. Practice inner humility, gratitude and offering your actions to Her to come out of this ego-loop.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
