I just have a little question about harmony as today is Lakshmi Puja. How does one maintain harmony in the family effectively? When there are fights, I try to stay calm as long as I can and negotiate. However when it becomes unbearable, I give up and get angry. Sometimes when I make mistakes, I quickly apologize and try to correct it in order to maintain peace but it never seems to work well. My family keeps talking about my faults again and again even after I apologize. I am trying from my side but when the other person won’t co-operate, I don’t know what to do. I honestly feel like a failure. I have prayed to the Mother but is there anything else I can do from my side?

Harmony is very difficult to achieve in human relationship because each of the ego operating system. Hence each believes himself to be right and his opinions, way of life to be correct. In man’s present state trying to create harmony amidst human beings is only going to lead towards a vicious cycle of frustration and sense of failure. Anger is of course only going to complicate things and self depreciation, apart from being irrational (since one should never define oneself by other people’s views) is going to only make things worse. 

Instead of this try to find your goal and sincerely set yourself towards realising it. It is your journey and has to be naturally your way. Keep offering your plans, thoughts, actions and results to her and try to discover your own deep core. The closer you go to your core and the more you progress towards your unique goal, the more you will be inwardly content and happy. In due course of time this inner peace and joy will begin to effect others positively.  If at all, this is the route to try creating harmony around. Changing oneself according to other’s opinions and demands and expectations never works and is artificial and doesn’t last. Changing oneself by constantly progressing is the sole effective remedy. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da