Everybody goes through the struggle. If you read through the lives or even the writings of these mystics you will get some sense of what they went through. You can’t win the kingdom of heaven by a storm. Take only one example, of Swami Vivekanand, he continued to have doubts even during the last moments of Sri Ramakrishna. Besides these Yogis were not interested in transforming nature. They were content with having some core experience and use it as an exit door while departing from the body, never to return. Whatever change or transformation may have come was minor and incidental. The only thing they focused on with regard to nature was a certain moral and sattwic purity, a control through certain rules of dos and donts, not an abiding change. Besides their goal was to withdraw from the prison of Nature. So it was enough to know the weakspots and the way to cut open or open with a key the prison bars. Why should they bother to even know about the prison and its inconscient foundations and the subconscient wardens? In fact I don’t see what is the need even for a devotee or disciple to mentally know about the subconscient etc. The mind in its present condition cannot understand these things hence it will end up doubting since we naturally distrust what we cannot understand. Instead if we went ahead with the staff of faith and the lamp of aspiration held by HER Love then we shall advance much more quickly and with this progress the understanding will also come. As to the whole purification and transformation it is only about the complete supramental transformation that this is said. For example complete mastery of sex is needed mainly for the physical transformation. Besides these things are not done by one’s own efforts alone. Sri Aurobindo has said again and again that the secret lies in opening to the Mother with a psychic attitude of self giving. But if the mind keeps churning ideas before it is ready to receive the Light then doubts are bound to come. So focus on finding the Divine rather than understanding. With the discovery the understanding comes and the transformation and all else.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
