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Home » Relationships » Me and my wife used to fight a lot on various things….we went through this phase for more than 4-5 years. Two major points of our fights was (1) me not being straightforward in my communication and actions (2) Me not being like her father. We went through therapy and a lot of hard times to get through that phase and now we are kind of over it. Now she blames me for being too straight forward and being too much like her dad. Please advice what should I do…..I can’t go back to being to old person I was😬?

Me and my wife used to fight a lot on various things….we went through this phase for more than 4-5 years. Two major points of our fights was (1) me not being straightforward in my communication and actions (2) Me not being like her father. We went through therapy and a lot of hard times to get through that phase and now we are kind of over it. Now she blames me for being too straight forward and being too much like her dad. Please advice what should I do…..I can’t go back to being to old person I was😬?

Instead of trying to be what your wife or someone else would want you to be, try to discover what you are and want to be. Find your goal and concentrate upon it. One can never be what someone else wants us to be. To learn to accept each other the way we are, to love each other in the best part, to allow each other space and freedom for self discovery yet to be there for each other’s every spiritual, psychological or material need is the secret of a happy marriage. To try to change the partner is the road to ruin it. Marriage is built on mutual respect and sacrifice, not on tailoring the other person to fit into one’s own idea of what the other person should be. Such an expectation is a non-starter.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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We recently brought a Shivling from my in-law’s place as they are not able to take proper care of it. My in-laws used to worship it with elaborate rituals. We have also been advised to follow it. To be honest, I don’t have much faith in their long rituals which were advised by our family priest. To me a simple ritual with faith & devotion is what is actually needed in worship🤨.

July 1, 2025

I understand your situation and have experienced this with other families as well. Ritual involves a,material and a spiritual aspect. The material side is to give bath (wash) the Shivalingam daily and keep it in a …

Dear Alok da I am a woman so it’s very easy to look at Divine as a lover… but how can a man relate to Divine like a lover ? Like when Sri Aurobindo writes the poem on Krishna I can relate feel Krishna in that form but what about a man? This was just silly curious question but thought to ask🙂.

July 1, 2025

This is something that i struggled with for a while as to how could I see the Beloved in the Mother or bring before Her all my different parts for the needed change and transformation. Soon I realised that it …

Last night, I had a dream where I saw that my father and I were getting a tubewell installed, and at the end, when we inserted the pipe, a lot of water came out and it was sparkling. Then, Grandpa came and asked why we had the tubewell installed, saying that the water is salty. When we drank it, the taste was a bit salty, so I said at least the water would be useful. Later, I saw that my brother and I were checking the car’s headlight, but it didn’t light up. So, I said, doesn’t the light work? What’s the problem? He said it’s fine, and when I turned it on, the light was very dim. Then, we removed the mirror from the headlight and saw that it was giving off very little light. What could be the symbolic meaning of this dream🤔?

July 1, 2025

I don’t think it has any deeper symbolic meaning. Looks more like a dip into the subconscient where the water is not tasty and the lights are dim. But it could also be…

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AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER

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Dear Alok da I am a woman so it’s very easy to look at Divine as a lover… but how can a man relate to Divine like a lover ? Like when Sri Aurobindo writes the poem on Krishna I can relate feel Krishna in that form but what about a man? This was just silly curious question but thought to ask🙂.