AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Me and my wife used to fight a lot on various things….we went through this phase for more than 4-5 years. Two major points of our fights was (1) me not being straightforward in my communication and actions (2) Me not being like her father. We went through therapy and a lot of hard times to get through that phase and now we are kind of over it. Now she blames me for being too straight forward and being too much like her dad. Please advice what should I do…..I can’t go back to being to old person I was😬?

Instead of trying to be what your wife or someone else would want you to be, try to discover what you are and want to be. Find your goal and concentrate upon it. One can never be what someone else wants us to be. To learn to accept each other the way we are, to love each other in the best part, to allow each other space and freedom for self discovery yet to be there for each other’s every spiritual, psychological or material need is the secret of a happy marriage. To try to change the partner is the road to ruin it. Marriage is built on mutual respect and sacrifice, not on tailoring the other person to fit into one’s own idea of what the other person should be. Such an expectation is a non-starter.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

Daytime, when I am engaged in some work, I do it with dedication and surrender to the mother. Yet night time I can not resist myself about thinking a lot. How to train mind to remain calm and content? My service-related benefits are due for over 4 years.🌙🧘🕯️🙏🏻[…]

Night is always a difficult time as the forces of darkness are at an ascendence. But with persistence in remembrance of the Divine as well as forming some good habits like reading Savitri or hearing something nice and peaceful one can enter a quiet and relaxed inner state before sleep. Chanting a mantra when these thoughts assail and offering them or simply being an indifferent witness will also be helpful….

Read More >

Today I had a vivid dream where I was sitting with my late grandfather, offering to read to him from Savitri. In life, our bond was anchored in deep spiritual sharing, and just before his passing, he had instinctively offered his pranam upon seeing a photograph of Sri Aurobindo.🌙📖🕊️🙏🏻[…]

How long was this, that is, when did your grandfather pass away? I was wondering if there was an actual contact with him in the dream. It seems likely. In any case it is a most beautiful dream, possibly a dream vision.

Read More >

But how long will she be in this Coma stage? Her body’s some part is working and some not…Means what we heard: some percent of her brain is working…. 🕯️🤲🌸🙏🏻

Surely she can pull through the Coma. But it is difficult to predict. Ultimately it depends upon what her soul choses. And the choice of the soul is not based on the attachments in the world. The soul is not attached to anyone in its journey through lives. Its only attachment is to the Divine Truth. Its only concern is about the progress it can make in its life. If there is still the possibility of some progress in this body then it may return. If not then it may make a different choice.

Read More >