I don’t think there can be a how to it. Love either happens or does not happen. As to the stability of a relationship, physical as well as inner proximity are both important. But broadly speaking there is a lesser kind of relationship that depends largely on physical togetherness and there is, though rare, higher and deeper kind of relationship that is not so dependent on physical proximity. In fact the charm of romance is fed by the expectation of meeting rather than the actual living together. That is one of the reasons why romance tends to fade away after marriage. When people start living close together in the same physical space, their egos often begin to rub and one begins to see the real and unreal defects of each other as depicted in the celebrated phrase ‘familiarity breeds contempt’. Yet marriages last better and longer than romance alone due to common engagements, social buffers and most importantly child birth. It is rare to find a couple joined together in a common ideal and higher aspiration alongwith an enduring affection, care, mutual respect and love. These, and not romance and physical – vital attractions make a relationship last.
So at this point, best is to focus on your true goals, aims and the lines along which you should progress. Let romance or better still love happen when it must. Cupid or Kamadeva has his ways and will touch your heart when he wishes. Leave his part to him. You focus on your part, the purpose and goal for which you are here.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
