It is difficult to comment on personal aspects. But man-woman relationship is a science as well as an art, especially a capacity to feel the other person’s inner and outer need, to allow enough space and freedom as well as balance it with closeness, intimacy and a feeling of being cared and loved. It is a long subject and perhaps you can read some books by reliable authors. In any case I don’t see any reason for the despondent note. While alone, enjoy the aloneness, when you discover (not find) someone to share your life with then enjoy the togetherness.
Affectionately,
Alok Da