AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Can you suggest some ways to keep yourself calm and focused on positive things when there is a feud, conflict, and quarrels among family members? I have tried to distance myself, but sometimes it’s difficult and directly related to my own family members, so I can’t help myself. 😔[…]

I keep on thinking about the situation and get stressed and disappointed seeing them suffer too. How should I approach such situations? I can’t stop them or anyone else from fighting, and there is no point in giving others a lecture. Due to the bonding of relationships, the stress and pain are transferred to me also, and then I find myself feeling low and helpless. I still can’t figure out how to adapt in such situations, and how can I make my inner self come to terms that all this is just a play of forces because I feel pain irrespective of telling myself that all this is worldly things… every relationship.

Inner detachment, outer knowing that all this, including most human relationships are so transient (since based on the ego), desiring nothing and expecting nothing from anyone except the Divine, to lean and rely constantly on the Divine for everything, is the way. Sri Aurobindo describes in Savitri thus.

‘O mortal, bear this great world’s law of pain,

In thy hard passage through a suffering world
Lean for thy soul’s support on Heaven’s strength,
Turn towards high Truth, aspire to love and peace.

A little bliss is lent thee from above,
A touch divine upon thy human days.

Make of thy daily way a pilgrimage,
For through small joys and griefs thou mov’st towards God.’

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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