I feel that by nature, my mind is quite restless. I don’t find comfort in peaceful or quiet places. For instance, when I once visited Samadhi, I stepped out almost immediately, I just couldn’t bear the silence. I’ve tried meditation too, but it didn’t work for me. I think the reason is that I came to materialistic pleasures a bit later in life, so my mindset is: let me enjoy them first. Maybe, once I grow tired of all this, I’ll begin to seek peace. Perhaps only then will I truly understand the value of Samadhi. In my understanding, spirituality is equal to peace😥.

One never gets tired of pleasure except temporarily. Pleasures, whether material or vital, are like an addiction. It satiates temporarily but never satisfies. It returns with greater and greater demand even after it has turned into pain. 

So try to put effort of will, however little it may be to begin with. Take small steps such as just sitting quietly at a fixed place and time even if the mind tries to run. Try practicing Sakshi bhav (Witness state) and do Naam japa. Also undertake physical exercises everyday and do whatever physical work is in hand with as much concentration as you can. It disciplines and channelises the vital energies.

Affectionately,

Alok Da