AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

How can I make my eleven year old independent, he is a typical mumma’s boy and everyone around tells me it’s my fault

Gradually give him the reins but sit in the chariot with him so that he learns to make choices while you watch from behind, prompting him when needed. Allow him space and independent time or rather tell him to be by himself in the house while you are generally around. Delegate few responsibilities to him like arranging his cupboard once a week, cooking a dish once a week under supervision, organising his bed after getting up on Sundays, watering the indoor plants etc. Extend these tasks little by little. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Follow up question:

Also which  is it ok to leave him for a little time at home with staff as we still don’t do that ? Rest he helps in chores cooks egg fry does his bed every nite before sleeping..

Better not to leave with the staff as adolescence is a vulnerable stage and children can pick up undesirable things unconsciously. The staff also switch to a different mode when the masters of the house are away. 

However slowly increasing the nights of sleeping alone is presently the best option, perhaps combining it with some subtle psychological reward.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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