AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER

How can I make my eleven year old independent, he is a typical mumma’s boy and everyone around tells me it’s my fault

Gradually give him the reins but sit in the chariot with him so that he learns to make choices while you watch from behind, prompting him when needed. Allow him space and independent time or rather tell him to be by himself in the house while you are generally around. Delegate few responsibilities to him like arranging his cupboard once a week, cooking a dish once a week under supervision, organising his bed after getting up on Sundays, watering the indoor plants etc. Extend these tasks little by little. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Follow up question:

Also which  is it ok to leave him for a little time at home with staff as we still don’t do that ? Rest he helps in chores cooks egg fry does his bed every nite before sleeping..

Better not to leave with the staff as adolescence is a vulnerable stage and children can pick up undesirable things unconsciously. The staff also switch to a different mode when the masters of the house are away. 

However slowly increasing the nights of sleeping alone is presently the best option, perhaps combining it with some subtle psychological reward.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

 Just wanted to ask you like I am pursuing MBA and completed my BBA degree too but still not I am sooo confused what too doo not finding exactly what I love and if I don’t get a job before my MBA completion then I have to home and my parents will start forcing Me for marriage they were traditional parents 24-25 mai Shaadi is good and all u have too also even if I say yes too any guy then didn’t allow me to have attest 1 – 1.5 year before marriage …. Feeling soo tensed while thinking about this 1 percent agar job nhi lagi toh .. also at this point I feel I want to live my life enjoy tick list my bucket list … how too deal with this how to make my parents thinking understand my perspective and all😐..

It is not easy to convince parents if they have fixed ideas. But if one stays firm they eventually concede. You should have courage and try to reason out with them. Yet if they still do not agree or understand…

Read More >

Ramakrishna says that the Jivakoti can ascend to the Divine but may not descend, while the Ishwarakoti can ascend and descend at will. Sri Aurobindo says that going by this definition ‘Ishwarakoti are those who get to the integral Reality and can therefore combine the Ascent with the Descent and contain the “two ends” of existence in their single being.🤨’ -[Conti]

By definition, it seems so. Ramakrishna often alluded in his talks that Brahman and his Shakti are One and the world is their own manifestation and play. I always understood this statement from Sri Ramakrishna (of course before contact with…

Read More >