I am in a committed relationship with my partner for almost 5 years. The first few years were normal but since last year we both have had issues mentally. We’re both seeking therapies from our respective therapists but as of now the constant fights is ruining the very aspect of happiness in our relationship and I feel like the love we had for each other has lessened. Their is minimal to no mutual respect for each other and I know that we’ll stick by each other till the end but I’m not very hopeful if we’ll be happy . My question to you was if a lot of boundaries have been crossed and we’ve said things to each other we can’t really take back 😪and there’s a lot of bitterness for each other and we’re not as passionate about each other as we used to be. Even after all these things will we able to put things in the past and move forward. Do things get better after all these things ? I try as long as I can but sometimes, I don’t see that patience and willingness to work on our relationship from the other side so what am I supposed to do to make things better ?

It is difficult to say much without knowing all the details which for obvious reasons cannot be done through the email. However given your age, I would say that it is too early for a committed relationship.  Teenage is a time for exploration and experimentation through which one is encountering different parts of one’s nature and discovering oneself. Though it is good to keep before oneself the highest ideal of love, of happiness and harmony respect, of a beautiful togetherness, one needs to understand that the castle of ideal love and flawless happiness cannot be built on the quicksand of passions or waves of emotions. Already the relationship has run into troubled waters and while nothing is impossible, yet it is not advisable to carry the experiment further. Best is to learn from it, grow conscious and come out with mutual understanding. One way is to step out of the committed relationship and not stay together. Remain friends but let it be open ended. Meanwhile find a meaningful goal for yourself and focus yourself and direct all your passions towards this goal. Then see how things develop over the years. In other words give sufficient space and time to each other and see later on if you wish to come back together again. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da