Sometimes, my deepest aspirations have been met with strong judgment, anger, or guilt for actions I didn’t want to take, which now makes me afraid to share or work with my teacher. Yet when I step back, I judge myself for being selfish or using my teacher or making a big mistake; they may be right. How can I relate to a teacher with openness and sincerity, while also having space to express my own inner movements without fear or guilt? How can I recover from the past, heal the blockages around these deep aspirations, and understand this pattern so I can relate consciously to guidance? How can I rebuild these relationships when there seems to be no opening to listen, and it always comes like they know better? I am feeling sad without a teacher, no guidance, no progress, and there is a constant questioning: am I too egoistic, selfish? Feeling stuck…
A true teacher doesn’t judge a student or a disciple, as the case may be, but simply observes and helps rectify and overcome the various limitations that prevent from advancing upon the Path that has been shown or undertaken. The worst of these blockages is fear and doubt. It is not so much the words spoken and the outer guidance given as it is the confidence he inspires by walking the path himself, the inner help he provides by the subtle influence and inner contact with his consciousness through devotion, service, openness to receive what he is there to give, the readiness to learn from him that matter most. It requires a humility to admit that one does not know, the faith that the teacher knows and can guide and help, and above all, the sincerity to follow the direction given that matters.
Such teachers are however very few. It is easy to proclaim oneself as a teacher but extremely difficult to do even a limited justice to the responsibility it brings. The saving Grace however is that, if the student or the disciple truly has the thirst to know, the need for progress, the inner aspiration to grow then he benefits fully from the contact because then, it is not so much the human personality of the teacher but the Divine within him who helps. It is important therefore not to get too much humanly involved with the teacher by throwing one’s human emotions and attachments or vital demands and expectations upon the teacher as these only complicate things. We need to remember that there is a human side to every teacher and to get attached to the teacher with his human parts helps none and may even bring a downfall for both. It is for this reason that some teachers withdraw into seclusion while others put up a formal barrier of a certain robe or dress to remind of their role. But this also limits the help that could be transmitted through them. Therefore the greatest of all live among men and do not proclaim themselves as a teacher but simply as a helper, a guide or even as a friend.
It is important to understand this so that we do not connect with the teacher through our human desires but through the soul’s aspiration, through the seeking for knowledge, through a need to understand oneself better and change oneself for the better.
But then, isn’t the Divine seated in our heart the best and highest of teachers! The teacher outside may or may not necessarily be his representative. Being human he will carry his own imperfections and difficulties. But the Divine within is not limited by this. Therefore, while the human representative of the Divine helps because of the natural need to relate humanly, one should strive to discover the Divine Master, the Teacher, the Guide, the Guru within. A true Teacher worth his work does that. He helps us to discover within us what he has discovered and realised in himself. It is this one must focus upon, the discovery of the Divine within rather than getting sentimentally attached to the outer form and figure of the teacher. If one understands this then the journey is smooth. But if one depends only upon the outer personality and pulls at it vitally and emotionally then it becomes a rough and a tough ride for both.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
