How to be contact with the psychic soul because this period I feel that i am loosing the faith, gratitude, aspiration and surrender towards the mother. I don’t want this state where the mind is doubt, the heart movement without devotion and surrender and the body still attached with their old movement and to go down in tamas. In a small moment when i feel the touch of inner contact, my whole beings are devoted and aspired towards her and feel her presence, peace and right direction in every movement. How to be ever time connect with the psychic being? Without her presence in every moment and everyday i don’t feel happy and life seems as meaningless. I don’t want the movement of doubt in mind and the surrenderless heart for the divine so how to be fill it one pointed bhakti and totally surrender? I don’t know anything about the process of sadhana when i read i don’t understand this things But still i want her grace, her presence in every time and nothing else
This happens to all because we are not composed of one part. At the first the part that is most open is touched under the silent pressure of the soul. Then slowly the different parts of nature come up, each with its own demand and difficulty. One has to deal with them patiently until they too feel the need to change. It takes time especially the vital parts that are very prominent at your age. One can’t force them to surrender or simply deny their presence.
The way is to keep growing in aspiration and peace regardless of the resistance offered by the other parts. Instead of trying to fight with them, one should gradually weaken them by practicing sanyama rather than nigraha. Yes doubts should be rejected but a simpler way is illumining the mind with true knowledge. The simplest way is to read Sri Aurobindo and the Mother so that there is a correct and complete understanding of the Yoga. Read Letters on Yoga and the Mother’s Works. Slowly the understanding will come. And if you cannot read then one has to learn to wait patiently with trust and keep on aspiration and surrender, offering all the obscurities until they slowly burn away or dissolve in the growing fire of Yoga. It takes at least 12 years to just have the necessary base of purification, 30 years to discover the psychic being and the Divine Presence within. One needs to have tremendous faith, courage, patience, endurance to arrive at the goal, in fact any great goal requires these qualities, then how much more will be required for this most difficult of journey ever undertaken by man.
As to bhakti, there is a difference between emotional bhakti that easily gets disheartened by lack of experiences and the deeper and true psychic bhakti which demands nothing, not even experiences but only to give oneself to the Divine with love and through service. By its nature it is never disappointed or develops doubts. The secret lies in giving oneself. The rest will come in its own time. To wait is also a part of bhakti, even an important part of it.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
