In my early teen years, I went through sexual abuse very intense, the whole night, all freezed, dark, cold, really horrible, now at i am in my thirtees taking therapy from very authentic person, Shri Maa follower, much needed I suppose. So leading life now in present is very traumatic experience itself.. awareness hits and hurts triggers, I know Mother is, has been watching, she knows it!

I see. Something is missing too, what to tell her, myself, my body feels very heavy in throat pulls me down, I’m not making justice with my daughter too she’s is very young, I feel disconnected away. Shri Maaa maa maa maa

I can fully understand the trauma and its deep impact as a child. But one has to move towards the future rather than continuing to linger with the past that one cannot change. I would suggest that you should write everything in the form of a detailed letter to the Mother relating all that you have gone through to Her as the Divine Friend and Mother and Healer. Keep the letter below Her photograph and then tear and burn it away after a week taking it as burning the entire experience and its impact. After this ritual act take a bath with some rocksalt in the water and imagine your body getting thoroughly cleansed of all impressions by Her Light. After the bath call Her Peace into each cell of the body. Do this for a few days. And yes keep moving towards the future which is the best way to get rid of the past.

Affectionately,

Alok Da