Sex has little if anything to do with love. What love needs for its integral fulfilment is physical intimacy but that need not mean sex. There are beautiful ways of expressing physical intimacy such as touch, embrace, kiss, holding hands. However there are two problems with this ideal bond. First is that the sex impulse is too strong in living beings and its roots are deep in our biology. The nervous system is so wired that even a passing touch can trigger a cascade of sexual arousal which is why too much free mixing between girls and boys, especially alone carries an inherent risk that the emotions can at any point of time spill over into passion. Due to its original purpose of procreation, women who have to bear the child get triggered by the mind and the heart whereas men get aroused by physical sight, sound, touch etc. Of course now, for various reasons, there is a change but generally the trigger points and arousal mechanisms are different in the two genders often leading to a mismatch of responses. In fact the true feminine type is less interested in the animal aspect though she often concedes to a man’s demands.
That apart, the more refined the consciousness is, the less it tends towards the animal ways. But the problem is the way the nervous system and the hormones operate. The way to navigate through a relationship where there is less need of sex in one partner and a strong sexual impulse in the other is threefold.
Talk to each other and teach the partner about what physical intimacy without sex would mean. Most men do not understand it.
Concede from time to time as a part of love that gives oneself in every way to the one whom we love.
Set the person free to follow his nature and graze in different grounds like an animal until he gets sick and tired of this too brief and too temporary a pleasure. Love can then have its chance.
Yes it is very much possible to have deep strong bonds of beautiful love without any physical involvement or with a minimum of it. These bonds, often fed by the psychic flame, can last long, endure through life and be a source of great perpetual joy in a couple. But for this both have to be on the same page which is very rare, especially for men.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
