I met my dearest husband when I was in school. He is my friend’s cousin. He proposed to me on 2nd Dec when I was in the 9th standard. From day 1, it was a very strong bonding and none would have gotten that much love as I did. We never exchanged gifts; it was a heart and soul bonding, sir.
The Mother was the only god in the house we prayed to. The Mother helped me a lot; She is still helping, otherwise I wouldn’t be alive. Ever grateful to Her.
After 9 years of knowing each other, me & my husband got married in our 20s; but due to my lousy, insensitive, arrogant, selfish attitude and immaturity, I did an unpardonable blunder in my mid 20s & my heart got twisted. Despite his pouring so much love & care & advising, I continued making the blunder. Mother warned me a couple of times & I continued & he was still ready to live with me, knowing my nonsense and I applied for divorce ignorantly and on the day of divorce, I felt like the mother telling me, ”Child, I gave him to you, as you didn’t get parents’ love”. It was too late & I lost him.
He went through a lot, sir. He loved me so devotedly. He drank day and night in depression; his kidneys were affected. Somehow, he fell in love again and met his life partner. It’s been more than 10 years. I definitely want him to live happily. But I miss him & couldn’t move on. None can replace him in my heart. I ask the mother, “I have lost what you gave & I REGRET so much, but what more is there to live?” I pray to her that I should never disobey her (typing with sincere tears). But I am stuck with his fond memories of how much he poured love like a mom and dad. He married me against his mommy’s wishes and stood by me whenever she tried to humiliate me. I cry to his T-shirt and mangal sutra when I feel traumatized.
I was in touch with my loving dad until he passed away from cancer. He is also a very strong devotee of the Mother. My mom & dad were living in separate houses, and I grew up with my mom, who was emotionally very cold & she would scold me if I asked for food while I was hungry. It’s ok, I have forgiven, and it doesn’t matter now. I cook what I want now, by the Mother’s blessings.
My dad was warned to never stay with his child whenever he visited (once a year). He was a joyful, hilarious & loving father whom I didn’t get a full chance to spend with. It’s ok. May he RIP
Sir, my husband is definitely hurt & may not forgive me. I wish on his birthday, but he won’t reply. I pray daily that he should feel healed & live a joyful life. Whomsoever men may approach me for marriage, etc., but none can become my ex-husband. I am asking the Mother about what to do as I am living without happiness. I understood my mistakes, I put my head down thinking of my ignorant desires and the husband Mother gave was definitely very fair-hearted, very cheerful, and I am sure he was the Mother’s choice. I understand that the Mother gives the best, & I lost it.
Sir, please forgive me for writing a long email. Thank you very much for guiding many people who are struggling and suffering in their lives, including me. Will be grateful to see your reply that the Divine Mother would pass it through you.
Yes, I understand the sense of lost opportunities that come sometimes when we look back at life. It is inevitable because human beings live in ignorance and it is only later, sometimes much later, that we look back and learn. But the feet of time are always turned towards the future. We have to learn and grow and move forward. This is all we can do. The river of Time does not flow backwards, but the past has given it the momentum that tends to persist. We have to keep turning towards the future with faith, with the trust that whatever happened had to happen. We have to live with the trust that whatever happened, however bad it may seem to us at present, was part of the greater plan. Perhaps this is the path carved for you by the Divine Grace and if you believe it so, then it will turn out to be so. While it is a happy thing to have a happily married life, often it itself becomes a bar to future progress. Sometimes the soul within us chooses to break free from the happiest of situations and even the best of relationships and bonds that give joy, so that one can leap towards the future. One day, you will be able to see that whatever happened was a Grace, and all that you lost has only prepared you for the true goal. When one feels most alone, then one is truly closest to God and one’s deepest truth. Wake up to your true aspiration beyond a happy married life and the way towards the future will appear clearer.
Affectionately
Alok da
