AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Some friends always expect you to be available for them, but when you need them, they are nowhere to be found. They dump their problems on you without even asking about yours. Conversations with them revolve entirely around their lives, and if you try to share something, they cut you off and steer the talk back to themselves. They take you for granted, disappearing for long periods only to show up out of the blue, expecting you to act as if everything is fine. One day, they’re full of affection, and the next, they act like you don’t exist. How to deal with such people🙄? Are they even worth calling friends?

True friends are indeed very rare like the pearl inside a shell. The sign of a true friend is that he or she loves you in your best part but lets you be yourself. The sign of true friendship is that you can be yourself and not expect to be judged or dragged to lower things. A true friend is always there with you in good and bad times, willing to share your burden gladly and ready to help if needed. He counsels you when you need it but doesn’t take offence if you do not accept the advice. He loves you as he loves his own self and stands by you even if the world opposes you. A true friend never abandons but leaves you free if you choose to move away. Taking for granted is alright as long as you are also allowed to reciprocate the same way.

So you see how very rare is true friendship. Especially one should be careful of friends who seek company to fill their loneliness or want you to accompany them in all kinds of activities that drag us down or whose friendship depends upon how much you can spend for them. Stay away from such friends as they are more harmful than enemies.

At your age it is very rare to find true friends because the personality and interests are changing. One has to accept this as an inevitable process of growth and self discovery. A few good friends are of much more value than a number of friends who are selfish and seek self interest through friendship.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

Dear Alok Ji, can you please tell me how I can get rid of my anger at Sri Aurobindo and also how to regain trust in him? 🙏🏻💗

Trust is a very precious, priceless gift. Even among human beings it is special. But when it is towards the Divine then it should be doubly carefully guarded.  

Again anger is an extremely harmful emotion towards anyone. It hurts and harms both, the one who harbours it and the one towards whom it is directed. But since one cannot harm or hurt the Divine Beings, it falls back upon oneself creating a terrible karma. By all means desist it. It is the straight road to fall…

Read More >

At one end, aspiration for the Divine and to unite with Him and to have a change of consciousness; to do The Mother’s work; at the other end, need for a proper awareness in the very ordinary and externalised human nature about the deep meaning and implication of what is happening in life and also what the Divine Destiny is. 🌱🙏🏻[…]

It is much better to catch the knot of life at the other end from where it all begins. The riddle of life cannot be understood on the surface. Focus on the one thing needful, the Divine, and all the rest will begin to fall in its place. This has been the experience of all who have gone on the path. 

Read More >

I am reading the Synthesis of Yoga and Sri Aurobindo is speaking about the union having a threefold character (pg. 131). I wanted to understand whether this is a skilful parallel to draw: a union by identity = Atman = Brahman 📖🌟🙏🏻 […]

Here is the passage from the Synthesis of Yoga to which you are referring.

‘That which is thus made manifest to our vision and experience, and the union has a threefold character. There is a union in spiritual essence, by identity; there is a union by the indwelling of our soul in this highest Being and Consciousness; there is a

Read More >