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AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
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Dada now I experience that when I open to the mother and Sri Aurobindo I feel the difficulties in lower part but when spontaneously my thought turns to Sri Krishna all the obstacles of lower nature vanishes and I feel peace. Why this is happening? Due to this unknowing difficulties I am not able to turn The Mother and Sri Aurobindo. When I think about Sri Aurobindo I feel causeless doubt, depression, no aspiration and bhakti towards mother and Sri Aurobindo. What should I do😥?

It is definitely the play of the mind making you feel like this. The only truth, if at all, could be that turning towards Sri Aurobindo and the Mother through some ego in the seeking puts a tremendous pressure of transformation and the corresponding rise of resistance. Eliminate the egoism and vanity in the seeking, the feeling of being special or of wanting experiences, impatience etc which opens the door to the attacks. Instead establish peace, calm, equanimity first, learn to surrender and wait with patience and all will be well. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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