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Ask Alok da

Being a bad friend: I see a certain insensitivity in me to other people. I lack empathy in some situations, and it makes me feel very bad about myself. I have lost friends in the past because of this. While I generally try to help people, there is something in me unsympathetic towards others. Because of this tendency, I feel myself incapable towards building lasting friendships. I have cried about it, and at this point I don’t even feel like having friends anymore because I’m conscious of this defect in my nature, so I don’t want to repeat the same cycle again and experience the same moral pain that I feel. For now, I can only observe it and feel bad about it. How to change it I have no idea🫤.

This is not such a big defect and in certain ways it is not necessarily a defect. It is possibly because you make your own choices and have your own mind, a kind of individuality that can sometimes become a barrier in opening to friends and people. As long as you are generally helpful you don’t need to blame yourself. Nor is there a need to have too many friends. Besides if you feel sometimes that you were possibly insensitive you can always convey this to them or recompense subsequently. Good friends always understand and do not leave a friend because of perceived defects of nature. So do not torment yourself too much about it. When you find a true friend you will automatically and naturally think of him and feel his joys and sorrows without making any effort.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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