Love, in its origin is the urge or impulse to give oneself to the object of love and, through this giving, grow one with the loved. Its original purpose is to unite through self-loss. Thus, the Divine gives Himself to the creation so that the creation can grow one with the Divine.
In human beings, this divine impulse to give without calculation or reserve changes, under the stress of ego and desire into wanting. The urge to unite remains, for without it there is no love but only some surface attractions and repulsions with the play of passion and pleasure as the only object. But this love undergoes a diminution and distortion in the form of wanting, expectations, dependency, devouring the other and thereby grow one.
Yes, many human beings do experience love but it is short lived. Very soon the ego steps in and limits the pure movement. It brings all kinds of narrowness and calculation, wants and frustrations thereby turning the true movement into something dark and bitter, full of jealousy and possessiveness, even hateful and hurtful. When ego and desire take over then love steps back and the passion play and drama of pleasure and pain take over.
Marriage is mainly a social institution evolved by humanity to maintain social order, to continue the family through progeny and, to regulate the sexual impulse by tying it to one person (rather than an unbridled wild expression) as well as humanising and somewhat sublimating it.
Marriage may be an expression of love (in its limited, distorted forms) because of the need for social approval and acceptance. Love may also develop in ‘arranged’ marriage but it may also be discovered outside the circle of marraige. It is a mighty power that cannot be tied to mental rules and it needs a great inner strength and wideness, even a great purity to hold its flame. However, wherever and whenever one finds love, it can be and must be uplifted, sublimated, refined, divinised.
Human love, in fact any human movement, is not destroyed by the Divine but ennobled and uplifted and taken to its utmost possible perfection.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
