The part of me who was “partaking” was very small and a part of the Cosmic energy. Same colour. The surroundings were unnammable it wasn’t space, everything was subtly bright but again not blinding. This part of me knew exactly What this Bigger Energy was and knew this was the Purpose, The Mother of It, And was in utter Peace. Everything failed to exist except Safety, Security, Peace, Cosmic Love, Cosmic Silence, and all became irrelevant. It was complete silence and a resting place from everything I’ve ever known. It wasn’t attached to anything in Life, it had a bliss of Its own for lack of description of the joy. It didn’t feel identified with anything except the Cosmic Energy, and resided immersed in Its Love. A Love unspeakable. It needed nothing, wanted nothing except the smile of this Cosmic Energy’s feeding. The Cosmic Energy just flowed, existed, but it felt Absolute, Omniscient, but did not feel condescending, fearful, though It was humongous. It was Divinely gentle, Divinely Silent, Divinely compassionate.
The other part of me who was witnessing felt frozen and didn’t know reactions anymore. It almost forgot every emotion save the Reality of this Reality. It felt foetal in any “knowledge” and didn’t know how to think anymore. It ‘felt’ a tremendous, enormous sense of Reality and felt completely Ignorant to this Truth. Enormously moved at the sheer Love this Cosmic Energy held, it knew that there was nothing to this Energy but Love and all of creation even its “sufferings” was Love. It realised to what depths of falsehood this Energy had willingly come into with humans for the sake of Love. Never giving up, taking all the blows of Mankind. And the sheer injustice that ALL of mankind has done in the name of religion, in the name of This.
This doesn’t even cover the whole experience at all. But this is essentially the essence of it. But then I got disturbed by someone coming into my room, and though the sense of distance from the outside world remained for a few hours. But then with the continuation of the day’s activities it diminished.
Please could you shed some light on what I experienced ? When I concentrate I’m able to re establish it but then it goes away when I begin to move around in day to day life.
It is a very rare Grace, an experience of the Divine Mother in Her cosmic aspect and the psychic being (the tiny part which is part of the cosmic Power. The colours indicate that you saw Her as She leans from the Beyond into the Mind and further down. The experience is a promise that not only are you marked out for the spiritual life but also have an important part to play in Her Work.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
