I think this year there will be a big change, and I’m excited, but my parents are constantly projecting their fears and worries onto me and making me feel anxious and doubt my capabilities. I hate that my confidence gets lowered. I want their support; I need it. I feel I’ve deserved it, after years of being reckless and making mistakes, I changed parts of myself I never thought I could. Am I being greedy and selfish? I think it’s actually better for them if I move out, because then they can finally worry about themselves… isn’t it weird how we need space from family to really appreciate their worth? I feel we’ve mentally abused one another. It sounds aggressive, but it feels true.
When I listen to music, I get so emotional and tears start falling. I’m growing up and appreciating life so much more. I feel like a little kid again, before a dark period where social media and all its negativity took over me. Now, I’ve realized there’s so much beauty to explore. Living alone, I’ll learn so much, and I think living with my parents is restricting me from that. I want to experience life to the fullest. What do you think?
Leave aside parents; what is important is what we are doing with our lives. If we are clear about our goal and what we truly want, then the rest is easy and simple. This is the only question one needs to answer to oneself. Life is a gift, a field of progress. We have to decide what we want to do with it. Depending on that, the future opens its doors for us. Parents, friends, relatives, and even family are all passing phases of life. The only person you have to live with always is yourself. Take this as a great opportunity towards knowing oneself and mastering oneself, about discovering the world, not through the senses as everyone does, but through the use of discerning reason and a calmer outlook towards things. Restlessness helps no one.
Try to find your true goal, that which will engage you fully to the core. That is the most important thing to do. And until you can discover your true aim, just develop and progress yourself in whatever fields that may interest you. No mistakes and recklessness can stand in the way of the future if once your heart and mind settle upon it. Take your time to discover what you truly want to do.
As to parents, moving out should be a natural process, once you get a job or there is some means of earning. To move out and ask them to support you is unfair and resolves nothing. One has to be financially independent. Then the rest follows. Else one ends up making life more difficult for oneself as well as for all who love and care. So focus right now on getting settled with some steady means of earning, a stable basis of livelihood. Then moving out etc will be logical and natural. As long as we are dependent financially on anyone, we will face difficulties in asserting our choices, especially in times such as these. Focus on that and on discovering your true goal. It is best if the goal and the work are aligned. But even otherwise, financial independence is most important these days for women.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
