Cheating is not a good word because it is based on the Christian idea of marriage as a permanent joining of man and a woman as ordained by God. Hence divorce and separation are not permitted (except under exceptional circumstances) and infidelity and adultery considered as a sin. Beautiful though it is as an ideal it is not consistent with human nature in its present state and even not desirable as it means that the man and more commonly, the woman is stuck forever even though her heart has moved away for whatever reasons. If we want to avoid ‘cheating’ the society has to become wide enough to accept and accommodate the inherent complexities of human life. It must also show the way to fulfil the ideal which can only be through an inner change and not by legal and social imposition.
Once this is understood then the only logical approach and one consistent with the need of human evolution is to allow freedom and honesty in relationship. It means that the partners are not bound by any outer law or compulsion except by the love in their heart. This will eventually lead the partners towards a more honest relationship than we see today. It will also, eventually prevent cheating and divorces and the pain it involves and allow a greater and healthy acceptance of true love when it enters one’s life. So the way forward when one discovers that the partner feels love for someone else is to accept rather than separate, become wider and generous rather than narrow and jealous. Of course if the partner wants to move away, the freedom should be always allowed. Love blossoms best in freedom and the course of human evolution is through wideness and expansion. The process may seem difficult at present but will eventually bring us in contact with the source of true love, within our soul whence alone fidelity can truly last.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
