First thing one needs to see is whether he has a tendency to be critical and querrulous with others too or is it largely confined to his interactions with you. If he is generally so with others as well then this means that the tendency to be angry and quarrel is ingrained deeply in his personality. If so then there is very little that you can do except detach yourself, learn to ignore, find your own goals independent of him and, if need be and there are no children and the marriage has been for over 7 years, then contemplate parting ways if social conditions allow. It is the last resort if the relationship has become a source of perpetual unhappiness and suffering.
However if this is a relatively recent thing and his irritability is mainly in interactions with you then it will be good to discuss if he is undergoing some stress or if something is troubling. An angry person needs help more than ridicule and anger. One should try to look upon him compassionately as one would to a child who has gone stray. If that is difficult and if discussing the issues rationally doesn’t help then again it is best to follow the principle of inner detachment and reducing your expectations to a minimum. Most importantly to find your own independent goals so that the interactions are minimized.
It is however important to draw a red line that should not be crossed. It should be specified that any violence, verbal or physical is unacceptable. A healthy long term relationship is built on pillars of trust, mutual respect and dignity, care and affection.
Affectionately,
Alok da.
