Try to first change a vehement rajasic ego into a sattwic ego that learns to accept and accommodate different viewpoints and takes into consideration the needs of others. Cultivate qualities of sympathy, affection, love for others. It is to turn attention away from oneself and take decisions based on what is the right and the true thing to do rather than what is going to benefit one.
As to making contact with your true self, you should set apart a time to reflect upon the purpose of your life. Do some quietening meditation and bring calm and peace into yourself, taking the help of a mantra if it comes spontaneously to you. Engage in some selfless activity, say one hour a day, which is not done for any personal benefit or profit. If one can turn one’s energies to serve the Divine, then of course that is the permanent way to emerge out of the ego.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
