How to decide whether to have kids or no? On one hand I am worried about my ability to be a good father while even struggling to take up responsibility of being a good partner, good son. On the other, it feels so much joy to think about upbringing a child in the world. There is also a factor of my wife’s age (35) which sort of brings this question to urgent. I grew up where my parents fought a lot and they still do. Me and my wife too have our set of fights.. But we do consciously strive to get better.. and we are..But the fights and shouting at times does happen. What would happen to the child? Cannot expect for this to go away like a switch. I am not sure how to think about all of this altogether😥.

The coming of a child no doubt brings joy but also a lot of responsibility. The decision has to be taken consciously based on whether both of you are ready to shoulder equal responsibility in the child’s upbringing, especially during the formative years. Having a child is not indispensable and one should not bring a child into the world with the idea of securing one’s old age. That is the least of reasons to have a child. The need for a child is an instinct provided by Nature for the propagation of the species. In human beings it has taken the form of propagating the family line. If approached consciously it can be a means to bring into birth a beautiful soul that can bring not only legitimate pride to the family but also help the world with his / her thoughts and deeds. 

As to quarrels, yes it vitiates the home atmosphere. But the coming of a child, more often than not brings the couple closer cementing their relationship in a common task of parenting. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da