I have a boyfriend, but my mom doesn’t like him. Whenever I ask my mom why she doesn’t like him, she says it’s because he doesn’t show her respect. She had certain expectations from him, and he hasn’t met them. When I tell my boyfriend about this, he doesn’t want to listen. He says he can’t change how he feels from within. I feel stuck in between. My mom is telling me to break up with him because she thinks he’s not a good match. I have heavy pressure from both sides. Now, I don’t know what to do? Because of this situation, I can’t focus on my work properly, and I’m also having trouble concentrating on Mother’s book reading and other stuff😭.

Well friendship is one thing and marriage quite another. In friendship it is enough that two people respect and trust each other though even there, a friend naturally extends his affection towards those who are the near and dear one’s of the friend. Inability to do so indicates a limitation of the capacity to love. Still that may not matter much in friendship where expectations are limited or none. But marriage is a lifelong committment where not just two persons but two families come together and share each other’s joy and grief. So it is better to sit and discuss these issues before embarking on a lifelong togetherness. Parents are a sensitive issue in Indian homes especially and at least a general goodwill and basic courtesousness is part of the marriage deal. Else the boat will be rocking on unstable grounds.

Affectionately,

Alok Da