Love is love and does not follow mental rules. Love seeks its consummation through union which as of now is through inadequate physical means. Inadequate because the physical union is temporary and after the transient satisfaction it provides, the hunger comes up again leading to a vicious cycle of never ending sense of incompleteness. In an instance of the other person or both being married, it can give rise to dark feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, etc which are quite contrary to the spirit and joy and beauty of love. The energy of love mixed up with these baser elements can sometimes create great disharmony in place of harmony which is the natural seeking of love.
The best course therefore is to refine the energy of love, to purify it from all the dross of heavy passions so that it turns into something truly beautiful. It means to help, to give, to serve, to take care of the person one loves (regardless of gender) without expectations. Not to demand and want but to give is the natural movement of love. Similarly instead of possessiveness and jealousies to love those who are associated with the person whom one loves, wife or husband or whosoever. It means that instead of entering a narrow hole, one becomes wide and generous and strong, for only those who are wide and strong can truly love. Instead of trying to force oneself, to rather give, instead of becoming a cause of disorder in the loved one’s family, to become a silent support to build harmony. This is anyways the most satisfying way to love as it increases beauty and harmony and joy everywhere and in everything it touches.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
