AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
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Spirituality

Why do I experience deep fall in consciousness intermittently? Why do I commit inexcusable acts whenever I start approaching the Mother and Sri Aurobindo with much intensity? I have encountered these situations many a time, whenever I come to Pondicherry, or when I am returning from Pondicherry, after a Satsang at home, or returning from attending a Satsang at the Centre. I commit blunders after blunders in many ways, in expressing my ego, my arrogance, my anger, my fight, my jealousy, my idleness, my desire for food, gossip and sex skyrocket whenever I start becoming serious in my Sadhana. I feel some rush of unknown massive adverse force has captured me in parallel to The Mother’s Force within me and is not letting me go towards The Mother or do any kinds of Divine work. Sometime I feel so devastated and helpless within that I am worried about the consequences of acting against the Divine Will. Please guide me how to tackle these forces within?

This is quite a common experience. The Mother has described it stating the reasons for the same. Savitri also describes it beautifully. ‘The high and

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