AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Earlier I was in a relationship and had decided to get married but my parents opposed and also I felt it was not based on anything higher and no joy was there being with that person so I left him. Afterwards when I decide to get married I feel guilt and feel that its not something a noble person would do, that it would be better to remain single. Even if I decide to get married I am scared my mind might change later. But I am not able to remain single also. However there is no obstacle when it comes to having a relationship without marriage. But i am not ready for that too. Many times i felt marriage is not meant for me. I think with some kind of support i will be able to live a single life. How to navigate such a situation? How do i bring about a balance? Or should I try to get married😬?

Guilt is out of place here, if it ever has a place. The nobility or ignobility of an action depends upon the motive and not the action itself. As i see it your decision to step out of the relationship was based on a rare inner clarity. It is a rare capacity to discern and I hope you will keep it in all future decisions. 

Marriage is certainly not a necessity unless the need to have a child or the sexual urge is too strong in nature. It generally comes with a heavy price. Though there are beautiful moments of togetherness and the joy of happiness shared, the sense of someone being your ‘own’ to mutually take the burden and care of life, it also ties shackles to the expanding soul and often keeps one nailed to earthly needs. Very few marriages lead to a deep spiritual companionship. Hence more and more youngsters today prefer to remain single or ‘in a relationship ‘ rather than the formal institution of marriage. Commune living while staying single balances both these quite well. It keeps the possibility of endless progress open while allows us the support that a group life provides without trapping us in the net off dependency, expectations and a togetherness that is often shut off from the world and therefore selfish and exclusive. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

Pranam Sir. Since my childhood, I have always disliked depending on others. But being a single working mother, I have to depend on babysitters from an agency for my 3-year-old daughter during my office hours. 👩🏻🌼👶🏻[…]

The solution has to be practical. It is always difficult to find sincere paid workers. Therefore it helps to make it clear to them as to what is expected. It also helps to tell them that you will be keeping track through CCTV. It works as a deterrent. 

At the same time you…

Read More >

I have a question to ask. Whenever I see a movie. I know with my rational mind that it is unreal and just a hypothetical script. But somewhere in my thoughts, it triggers some sort of urge to help the character. For that, I automatically pray to Sri Aurobindo, and it rises in me to help her as if she is a real character.🎬💛 […]

The line between fact and fiction is indeed thin one. What we generally call as facts are what the senses report to us. But there is a whole world of thoughts, emotions, will and impulsions which act from behind and remain unseen. It is this hidden side of creation to …

Read More >

I was in the process of understanding the mind level- awareness, Inner Integrated awareness or guidance, the soul. I never tried myself to get into the topic of psychic on purpose. Because I was all naturally guided by true inner rhythm. It was necessary before I asked the question. 💛🪞 […]

There are several inner rhythms and only one of them belongs to the psychic. Yes, the psychic being is very much living and conscious. It is living, conscious, full of love and delight, always turned towards the Divine.

Read More >