AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Earlier I was in a relationship and had decided to get married but my parents opposed and also I felt it was not based on anything higher and no joy was there being with that person so I left him. Afterwards when I decide to get married I feel guilt and feel that its not something a noble person would do, that it would be better to remain single. Even if I decide to get married I am scared my mind might change later. But I am not able to remain single also. However there is no obstacle when it comes to having a relationship without marriage. But i am not ready for that too. Many times i felt marriage is not meant for me. I think with some kind of support i will be able to live a single life. How to navigate such a situation? How do i bring about a balance? Or should I try to get married😬?

Guilt is out of place here, if it ever has a place. The nobility or ignobility of an action depends upon the motive and not the action itself. As i see it your decision to step out of the relationship was based on a rare inner clarity. It is a rare capacity to discern and I hope you will keep it in all future decisions. 

Marriage is certainly not a necessity unless the need to have a child or the sexual urge is too strong in nature. It generally comes with a heavy price. Though there are beautiful moments of togetherness and the joy of happiness shared, the sense of someone being your ‘own’ to mutually take the burden and care of life, it also ties shackles to the expanding soul and often keeps one nailed to earthly needs. Very few marriages lead to a deep spiritual companionship. Hence more and more youngsters today prefer to remain single or ‘in a relationship ‘ rather than the formal institution of marriage. Commune living while staying single balances both these quite well. It keeps the possibility of endless progress open while allows us the support that a group life provides without trapping us in the net off dependency, expectations and a togetherness that is often shut off from the world and therefore selfish and exclusive. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

I had some questions about the realisation of the Psychic Being. At what stage of our development are we ready to discover our Psychic Being? How long does it take for it to become fully developed? Also, what happens when we discover it? Do we begin to see it?❤️‍🔥😊🙏🏻🌼🌄

One has see it through a continuum of lives. Here is a letter of Sri Aurobindo where he speaks about the readiness. ‘It goes without saying that the qualities you speak of are helpful in the approach to the spiritual path, while the defects you enumerate are each a serious stumbling-block in

Read More >

This is a question from my mother. After listening to your talk about the Mother’s Aspects in Savitri, she wanted to know about Ashtalakshmi and what they represent. Also, what was their role as the eight wives of Sri Krishna? What is the difference between their love and Radha’s love for Sri Krishna? 👰🏼🦚😊🙏🏻🌷

The eight wives of Sri Krishna are the eight aspects of Nature-forces or Nature-energies from the subconscient, earthly to the higher heavenly kind. By wedding to their Lord, these nature forces find their right balance within …

Read More >