AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Earlier I was in a relationship and had decided to get married but my parents opposed and also I felt it was not based on anything higher and no joy was there being with that person so I left him. Afterwards when I decide to get married I feel guilt and feel that its not something a noble person would do, that it would be better to remain single. Even if I decide to get married I am scared my mind might change later. But I am not able to remain single also. However there is no obstacle when it comes to having a relationship without marriage. But i am not ready for that too. Many times i felt marriage is not meant for me. I think with some kind of support i will be able to live a single life. How to navigate such a situation? How do i bring about a balance? Or should I try to get married😬?

Guilt is out of place here, if it ever has a place. The nobility or ignobility of an action depends upon the motive and not the action itself. As i see it your decision to step out of the relationship was based on a rare inner clarity. It is a rare capacity to discern and I hope you will keep it in all future decisions. 

Marriage is certainly not a necessity unless the need to have a child or the sexual urge is too strong in nature. It generally comes with a heavy price. Though there are beautiful moments of togetherness and the joy of happiness shared, the sense of someone being your ‘own’ to mutually take the burden and care of life, it also ties shackles to the expanding soul and often keeps one nailed to earthly needs. Very few marriages lead to a deep spiritual companionship. Hence more and more youngsters today prefer to remain single or ‘in a relationship ‘ rather than the formal institution of marriage. Commune living while staying single balances both these quite well. It keeps the possibility of endless progress open while allows us the support that a group life provides without trapping us in the net off dependency, expectations and a togetherness that is often shut off from the world and therefore selfish and exclusive. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

Namaste Alok Da. Thank you for the understanding given to me.  Nothing is more delightful than to know through you that there is indeed Divine’s Will behind, pushing me to Spiritual Life.  My aspiration for the Divine is to realize and unite with the Divine and manifest only His Will through this entire being. 😊🙏🏻🌸❤️‍🔥[…]

It is a beautiful aspiration. Nourish it by taking The Mother’s Name within you. Nurture it by regular study of Sri Aurobindo and The Mother’s Words. Do all you do in the spirit of nishkama karma and practice equanimity in the face of all outward disturbances. Offer all you do to the Divine Mother. That is the main thing required. The …

Read More >

Dear Sir, Namaste. I had a dream in which I was sightseeing in Ayodhya. It was totally different from the real city in every aspect. There were very large temples and monuments, some of which I remember were statues of a horse, a peacock, and an open court of a king; these were stone structures as tall as the Eiffel Tower. 💭🤔🛕🦷🌄[…]

It is a journey to a way back long forgotten past whose memory is buried in your subconscient. Tooth is the symbol of the inconscient and its breaking during this dream may be…

Read More >

In life, when you come to a junction where you are aware and conscious of your inner self, conscious of the conflicts that happen between mind and vital, conscious of your psychic [at least a bit] and offer everything at HER feet [mostly] but feel conflicted between the outer system we are in and the inner call.. 👧🏼🏛️😟🙏🏻❤️‍🩹🌼[…]

Yes the times of transition are always tough and, as the saying goes, when the going gets tough then the tough get going. Even otherwise being 15 is itself challenging enough. One has to be supportive of these children and ….

Read More >
× Bonne Fete