AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Earlier I was in a relationship and had decided to get married but my parents opposed and also I felt it was not based on anything higher and no joy was there being with that person so I left him. Afterwards when I decide to get married I feel guilt and feel that its not something a noble person would do, that it would be better to remain single. Even if I decide to get married I am scared my mind might change later. But I am not able to remain single also. However there is no obstacle when it comes to having a relationship without marriage. But i am not ready for that too. Many times i felt marriage is not meant for me. I think with some kind of support i will be able to live a single life. How to navigate such a situation? How do i bring about a balance? Or should I try to get married😬?

Guilt is out of place here, if it ever has a place. The nobility or ignobility of an action depends upon the motive and not the action itself. As i see it your decision to step out of the relationship was based on a rare inner clarity. It is a rare capacity to discern and I hope you will keep it in all future decisions. 

Marriage is certainly not a necessity unless the need to have a child or the sexual urge is too strong in nature. It generally comes with a heavy price. Though there are beautiful moments of togetherness and the joy of happiness shared, the sense of someone being your ‘own’ to mutually take the burden and care of life, it also ties shackles to the expanding soul and often keeps one nailed to earthly needs. Very few marriages lead to a deep spiritual companionship. Hence more and more youngsters today prefer to remain single or ‘in a relationship ‘ rather than the formal institution of marriage. Commune living while staying single balances both these quite well. It keeps the possibility of endless progress open while allows us the support that a group life provides without trapping us in the net off dependency, expectations and a togetherness that is often shut off from the world and therefore selfish and exclusive. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

I’m in cancer treatment and it looks quite good. But I have to deal with a medical system here in Switzerland that on one hand is very excellent but on the other is often working with “worst case” scenarios causing fear and anxiety in me. (Sometimes I ask myself whether the hostile forces can also use doctors…) Anyway, I often feel the obligation to decide something, whether to follow the doctor’s advice or go my own way. This is very difficult. How can one know whether a decision is right?🎗️🩺❤️‍🩹💊

Human beings live in ignorance, ignorance of the deeper truths and forces that govern our lives, ignorant of the Divine Presence within, ignorant of the very goal of life. The doctors are no exception. They act out of goodwill but often an ignorant goodwill that …

Read More >

Hello Dada.. I am in lot of emotional distress and just nothing feels right. I don’t know how to put it in word at some point I feel terrible about myself and at the same time not able to hold it anymore. Things have paradoxically changed. To be honest I have a complete different perception now which is difficult to explain to anyone also sometimes I feel is it a lot of my Ego speaking and thats why the conflicts?👑🦁🎭🪞

It is the struggle that most people of the new generation feel. The simplest way to deal with these things is to stay focused on your goal and not try to change people, however significant or close they may be in your life. To try changing others or to expect them to….

Read More >

Namastey Alok Da, I was reading some predictions related to Pakistan and China by Mother and Sri Aurobindo on the website, Was the Mother referring to a future event that is yet to manifest, or was this vision specific to that time period and did not occur due to divine intervention or a change in the working of forces? Is there any future possibility where China might invade India?🪷🐘🌍🏮

She was referring to a possibility, a possibility that was strong at that moment as well remains a risk for the future. Sri Aurobindo also said that they are very restless and saw the threat of Red China invading India through Tibet. As long as the Communist party …

Read More >