AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER

Earlier I was in a relationship and had decided to get married but my parents opposed and also I felt it was not based on anything higher and no joy was there being with that person so I left him. Afterwards when I decide to get married I feel guilt and feel that its not something a noble person would do, that it would be better to remain single. Even if I decide to get married I am scared my mind might change later. But I am not able to remain single also. However there is no obstacle when it comes to having a relationship without marriage. But i am not ready for that too. Many times i felt marriage is not meant for me. I think with some kind of support i will be able to live a single life. How to navigate such a situation? How do i bring about a balance? Or should I try to get married😬?

Guilt is out of place here, if it ever has a place. The nobility or ignobility of an action depends upon the motive and not the action itself. As i see it your decision to step out of the relationship was based on a rare inner clarity. It is a rare capacity to discern and I hope you will keep it in all future decisions. 

Marriage is certainly not a necessity unless the need to have a child or the sexual urge is too strong in nature. It generally comes with a heavy price. Though there are beautiful moments of togetherness and the joy of happiness shared, the sense of someone being your ‘own’ to mutually take the burden and care of life, it also ties shackles to the expanding soul and often keeps one nailed to earthly needs. Very few marriages lead to a deep spiritual companionship. Hence more and more youngsters today prefer to remain single or ‘in a relationship ‘ rather than the formal institution of marriage. Commune living while staying single balances both these quite well. It keeps the possibility of endless progress open while allows us the support that a group life provides without trapping us in the net off dependency, expectations and a togetherness that is often shut off from the world and therefore selfish and exclusive. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

Dearest Alok da, From lines of Savitri: High seers, moved poets saw the eternal thoughts That, travellers from on high, arrive to us Deformed by our search, tricked by costuming mind,…

It is the actual experience of a god each time he or she takes a human birth. The consciousness of a true, great god is high and vast and pure. But the human consciousness and the human instruments of speech and action, let alone the world conditions do not support this vastness that …

Read More >

My niece who is 12 yrs old doesn’t like sharing😥. If she takes her favorite food to school and her friends ask her to share, she doesn’t give or gives a very small piece. If by chance she happens to share a chocolate with girls she doesn’t like, she wants to snatch it away. She is attached to Krishna, and only thing that pacifies her is when we tell her that Krishna likes if she shares what He has given her. She says “I know it’s bad, i know it’s a devil that says this, but I can’t overpower it. It tells me that those girls did bad and said bad things about you, instead of that you shared your things, now you go steal something from them. Or I keep thinking what will I get if I give them”..[conti]

Single child may not be the reason. Rather it is quite unlikely. Children often pick up number of behaviours that they unconsciously notice in significant elders around …

Read More >