AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Earlier I was in a relationship and had decided to get married but my parents opposed and also I felt it was not based on anything higher and no joy was there being with that person so I left him. Afterwards when I decide to get married I feel guilt and feel that its not something a noble person would do, that it would be better to remain single. Even if I decide to get married I am scared my mind might change later. But I am not able to remain single also. However there is no obstacle when it comes to having a relationship without marriage. But i am not ready for that too. Many times i felt marriage is not meant for me. I think with some kind of support i will be able to live a single life. How to navigate such a situation? How do i bring about a balance? Or should I try to get married😬?

Guilt is out of place here, if it ever has a place. The nobility or ignobility of an action depends upon the motive and not the action itself. As i see it your decision to step out of the relationship was based on a rare inner clarity. It is a rare capacity to discern and I hope you will keep it in all future decisions. 

Marriage is certainly not a necessity unless the need to have a child or the sexual urge is too strong in nature. It generally comes with a heavy price. Though there are beautiful moments of togetherness and the joy of happiness shared, the sense of someone being your ‘own’ to mutually take the burden and care of life, it also ties shackles to the expanding soul and often keeps one nailed to earthly needs. Very few marriages lead to a deep spiritual companionship. Hence more and more youngsters today prefer to remain single or ‘in a relationship ‘ rather than the formal institution of marriage. Commune living while staying single balances both these quite well. It keeps the possibility of endless progress open while allows us the support that a group life provides without trapping us in the net off dependency, expectations and a togetherness that is often shut off from the world and therefore selfish and exclusive. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

Recently, Govt approved the caste census. Why is an organisation like RSS, which was formed with the aim of Hindu unity, supporting the caste census? Previously, Modi ji said that there are only 4 castes-the poor, the youth, women and farmers, but now he took a U-turn on his previous statement. 🧡😕🌻💫[…]

My own feeling is that it is a strategic move. Caste census would automatically mean that the factor of nationality is brought into the open. It is like doing an NRC without calling it so. Secondly, if they don’t…

Read More >

I have a six-month-old daughter. Sometimes, she falls slightly ill, and my family takes her to people who perform traditional rituals to heal her. When I oppose this, they turn against me. Additionally, they try to take her to lower-level ancestral spirits. 👧🏼👨🏻‍👧🏻🌻✨[…]

It is not cowardice but a sense of social behaviour inbuilt in many that prevents them from going against elders even if they are wrong. At the same time interfering much with their approach may create a disharmony in the …

Read More >

What are these new Auroville Information Centres? How does this fit with Auroville International? I am involved in one of the Auroville International Center. Should I leave? 🟡🙄🌼✨

I think the new administration is dismantling the old structures and replacing them with new ones. Auroville International is perhaps being replaced by AIC. It is partly a change of name, partly to bring these Centres outside under the dispensation of the new management. What is more important however is the much awaited, …

Read More >