AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Life Problems And Psychological Difficulties

Why is it that when someone chooses not to follow conventional paths—like pursuing a Masters or PhD, having children or a traditional job—and instead lives differently without glorifying their struggle and challenges, people/society often dismiss it as taking the ‘easy path,’ while glorifying conventional struggles as more valuable🤨?

Yes because most people believe that the path of life they have chosen is the best or the only true path. Besides every life has

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 I feel an immense weight on my heart because I realize that I’ve done everything wrong. I entered into a relationship with someone driven by my own desires for materialistic things and personal needs, to fulfill them, without truly considering his genuine feelings. My intentions weren’t pure, and the foundation of this relationship was flawed from the beginning. Now, I can’t help but feel that I’ve used him, and this guilt is consuming me 😥

First thing you need to understand is that nobody is responsible for anyone else. Besides things change, people evolve, relationships shift because nothing is static

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But is it really just the parents or something else stopping you? Look within carefully as there are interesting discoveries to be made. For very often we transfer our own fears to others whereas it is we who need to summon up the courage to live by the truth of our being. “Is it so that if I was really fearless… I would not be bothered by the parents acceptance of something😕?

Yes. Quite so. One then simply follows the truth in one’s heart and accepts full responsibility and consequence of ….

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In my life difficulties are growing and while trying to solve them it keeps on increasing. My parents have to suffer for me which gives me more pain than my own suffering. I know difficulties come to make us grow and conscious in life. But how to face them and what should be my attitude in facing all the suffering😪? How to increase faith and aspiration? How to become worthy of Mother’s Grace? 

The road to the Divine is not easy. Various forms of challenges come from within as well as from the people around us. As such

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People around me all think money💵 is the only requirement. I see greed in their eyes. I work in a private organization, gets enough salary for myself and don’t want more. My parents are looking for a girl for marriage. Please put some light on money. How one should take decision in terms of money. What should one keep in mind. Jai Sri Maa.

Money should not govern one’s decisions nor be the main priority. It has its own place in life but a place too often exaggerated due

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How to deal with the worries and fears about a possible future difficulty, that may or may not come? I think my psychosis is magnifying my worries many times. Sometimes, I am unable to divert my attention from these worries, dear Alok da. I am praying to the Divine, which comforts me sometimes, but not always. I want to remember the Divine most of the time, but with these worries, it feels as if I am living in a mental hell. I want to take Refuge in the Divine, and so, be free of all worries, but I think my psychosis is not allowing me to nestle much in the Divine’s arms. I want to talk and pray to the Divine, both by speaking and writing to Him, but I am unable to come out of these worries, which is making it difficult even to talk to the Divine. I try to reason out the worries by mental analysis, but that is not helping either, perhaps because of my psychosis, dear Alok da. I want to connect to the Divine most of the time, but these worries are very painful😕

Don’t keep thinking of the difficulties and the worries. They only increase by it. As to psychosis take whatever treatment you may have been advised

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I am still not sure how to deal with my libido. As a young male, I occasionally experience extremely strong sexual desire. I am not in a relationship, I don’t masturbate or watch porn. I tried following some of your advice, such as exercise, breathing, creative expression, etc. It helped me enormously. But still there are times in which I just get completely submerged in lustful thoughts and overpowering desires. During such times I cannot sleep in the night and just crave sex intensely. When such states come, my mind starts telling me that I should just find somebody with whom I could have regular sex so that I don’t feel this agony😟, [conti]

What helps handling these strong sexual impulses is to stay as busy as one can be, especially with a work that can be done in

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My parents are asking me to start thinking about finding a man to date and eventually marry. They are nudging me to meet men. I was recently talking to one guy that I met while on a run. He stopped me and asked for my number and based on looks I gave it to him. We started to go running together and when I would go study on weekends he would join me. He is 4 years younger and now went back to college which is about 4 hours away so we were talking over text and phone, but today, on a call he asked me some questions about the future and I told him the situation with my parents about them wanting me to find a husband and the other factor which is race / ethnicity. The one I was talking to is of African and Mexican descent and I figured even though my parents are accepting, that it would cause some issues which I don’t want to deal with. Despite us getting along so well and him treating me like a princess, when I told him today he got very upset about it. Now I am not feeling inclined to reach back out and fight for it because he’s pretty upset and it feels pointless since I’ve made up my mind that I will listen to my parents / find an Indian man for them, but I also wonder if I made a mistake because I was afraid of family reactions and considering I did have feelings for him😥 [conti]

I understand your situation. But you must remove certain misconceptions about marraige. There are no ready made partners. Relationships have to be built and it

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