AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

I am still not sure how to deal with my libido. As a young male, I occasionally experience extremely strong sexual desire. I am not in a relationship, I don’t masturbate or watch porn. I tried following some of your advice, such as exercise, breathing, creative expression, etc. It helped me enormously. But still there are times in which I just get completely submerged in lustful thoughts and overpowering desires. During such times I cannot sleep in the night and just crave sex intensely. When such states come, my mind starts telling me that I should just find somebody with whom I could have regular sex so that I don’t feel this agony😟, [conti]

even if it’s not someone I want long-term. During such times (especially in the middle of the night it’s extremely hard to have clear thinking and there is a strong urge to act impulsively and instinctively), can you suggest what I can do? I tried falling asleep — it’s almost impossible.

Now, since I exited my previous relationship, I experience strong cravings of finding a substitute for my ex. This sounds really silly, but please shed some light on what to do when these urges become so strong as to overwhelm one. I just need a strong enough reason not to go down the road of chasing after satisfying my desires.

What helps handling these strong sexual impulses is to stay as busy as one can be, especially with a work that can be done in the Mother’s service. The other thing is to do exercises or play some active sport that tires you enough before sleep. Also put some soothing music in the background when you sleep and Savitri book held at your side. 

Finding a partner should not be to have regular sex but as a movement of the heart, an act of love. Physical intimacy generally will enter at some point as the intensity of love grows but it should not be the prime motive. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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