AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Relationships

I’m going to pour my heart out here. For a number of years I have been out of any relationship, preferring to focus on my own personal goals and spiritual development. Recently, I met a girl with whom I entered into a casual relationship. We were spending a lot of time together, felt mutually happy, had a lot of fun, and had sexual contact as well (although it was not the main component). This thing lasted for only a month, and we both agreed from the start that it could not continue after this month because of our going to separate places. I even warned her from the very beginning that we have to be careful so as not to catch feelings towards each other. She said — yes, it will not happen. However, over time the situation changed. She fell in love with me, told me she never met someone like me, that I made her feel very happy and safe, and so on. I told her we could try to continue our relationship long distance. But personally, I don’t feel the same depth of feelings towards her😬. Nor can I imagine her as my long-term partner because I don’t feel that she is spiritually inclined. (It is important for me to be with someone who shared my aspiration).

These things happen when we are excessively focused on one aspect or dimension to the exclusion of others, especially the emotional and passionate aspects of

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What happens when two people in a relationship have an unequal (one person is extremely attracted, the other may feel some attraction but not to the same extent) amount of love towards each other? Is love a necessary prerequisite for living happily together, or is being simply comfortable and at peace around another person enough for this purpose🤨?

Love is everywhere and in everything. But if you mean human love then yes it works best if there is affinity at different levels. Attraction,

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How to Be Strong in Dealing with Family Life. My sister-in-law is unhappy that we don’t talk to her proactively. I don’t find it natural to start conversations with her. My spiritual teacher helped her a lot in the past, but it backfired on her. When I was getting married, she advised me to keep my distance. She is 39, unmarried, and has childhood trauma related to her parents. I want to support her, but I feel drained in the process. She often complains that my husband and I don’t talk to her enough. I can feel her pain, but I don’t know how to support her in a healthy way😥 [conti]

One should not try to help unless one is very clear about what is the real reason of her problem. Whatever be the past issues

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I have been in a relationship with a girl for two years, but she has made it clear that we can never get married. Despite this, I strongly desire to live with her because I believe it would make me happier, more focused, and bring stability to my life. Physical intimacy is also important to me, and I deeply crave that connection with her😥. However, it is difficult to manage these feelings knowing her boundaries [conti]

The fear comes because of attachment which is inevitable in any long term relationship. This attachment is a normal process of nature and has nothing

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Being a bad friend: I see a certain insensitivity in me to other people. I lack empathy in some situations, and it makes me feel very bad about myself. I have lost friends in the past because of this. While I generally try to help people, there is something in me unsympathetic towards others. Because of this tendency, I feel myself incapable towards building lasting friendships. I have cried about it, and at this point I don’t even feel like having friends anymore because I’m conscious of this defect in my nature, so I don’t want to repeat the same cycle again and experience the same moral pain that I feel. For now, I can only observe it and feel bad about it. How to change it I have no idea🫤.

This is not such a big defect and in certain ways it is not necessarily a defect. It is possibly because you make your own

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My in-laws have strong opinions and a dominant voice. At times, their energy impacts me deeply. How can I stop being affected by them so much? Right now, we are living away from them due to work. But in the future, if we have to live together, it scares me😱. In their presence, I feel there is no room for self-expression or choice. [conti]

Practice inwardness and be an impartial indifferent witness to all that is going on within and outside. Practice equanimity and most important of all, inner

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I am in a committed relationship with my partner for almost 5 years. The first few years were normal but since last year we both have had issues mentally. We’re both seeking therapies from our respective therapists but as of now the constant fights is ruining the very aspect of happiness in our relationship and I feel like the love we had for each other has lessened. Their is minimal to no mutual respect for each other and I know that we’ll stick by each other till the end but I’m not very hopeful if we’ll be happy . My question to you was if a lot of boundaries have been crossed and we’ve said things to each other we can’t really take back 😪and there’s a lot of bitterness for each other and we’re not as passionate about each other as we used to be. Even after all these things will we able to put things in the past and move forward. Do things get better after all these things ? I try as long as I can but sometimes, I don’t see that patience and willingness to work on our relationship from the other side so what am I supposed to do to make things better ?

It is difficult to say much without knowing all the details which for obvious reasons cannot be done through the email. However given your age,

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How can you manage your life when you are living around pleasure centric individuals, either they want to party and make programs and if they are at home they are irritated.. and they hinder your work …so what to do? As there is a point in live that I just want to avoid them as I have nothing more to talk to them and also I get annoyed with the amount of social programs they make😪…

Here is a letter of Sri Aurobindo with regard to contact with the outside world. Here is a letter of Sri Aurobindo with regard to

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