I happened to have recently received my stipend of 35k from Summer internship of MBA. Earlier I had thought to sending 30k to my mother’s account, so that she could take it to the Mother and offer and keep the rest with herself😳.

But upon she having known that I have received, when she asked me to keep 500 with me and give her the rest because she believes that I would waste them all and can anytime ask upon needing ( whereas, the fact is that upon needing even for important things, I have not received instantly as both of my parents don’t use upi, that too upon asking my mother, many a times, she hasn’t and I had to get from my father and at times have borrowed from friends at times of distress)

Moreover, since Im one month old in the new place, and there’s one more month for the internship to get completed)

And after she being aware of me having received, she keeps nudging me to give her. Even at odd times like late night and early mornings and during office hours, she keeps calling me and tell me that I have forgotten to send her. If I raise anything that sounds like against her will, she starts giving examples of children in relatives or extended families who have disowned their parents or are hostile to parents, too were harbouring these kind of behaviours during their initial days- sho she feels I too my end up doing so.

Also, she would emphasise to don’t take job in private sector but to take up in public sector especially railways just because my grandfather happened to serve and they have experienced the perks of the service.

I don’t feel anything good about this. I don’t feel motherly insticts at all. I’m hardly asked if I’ve had food or if I’m good or not?! But mostly to send the money.

I can clearly figure out that she has distrust upon me. How should I navigate through this?

You should do what you feel is the right thing to do. If she is in urgent need of money you should provide her fully. Otherwise you should send her a part of it, save some for the morrow and use the rest judiciously.

As to the job, here again you should follow your interests. Parents have their own baggage and their understanding is limited to the experience of life around them. You need not follow their approach. However if they give an advice you can take it into consideration and see it on its own merits. The older generation did prefer stability and a steady income over risky ventures. But it was their way. You need not follow that. Feel your own instinct and find your own way.

Affectionately,

Alok Da