I have been in a relationship with a girl for two years, but she has made it clear that we can never get married. Despite this, I strongly desire to live with her because I believe it would make me happier, more focused, and bring stability to my life. Physical intimacy is also important to me, and I deeply crave that connection with her😥. However, it is difficult to manage these feelings knowing her boundaries [conti]

I see people around me in similar relationships who seem very happy, they are happily married and it makes me long for the same. Since I am divorced, she has filled that void in my life and brought me happiness. However, I am uncertain how long this relationship will last. I have so many dreams with her, and I fear being devastated again if she leaves me.

The fear comes because of attachment which is inevitable in any long term relationship. This attachment is a normal process of nature and has nothing to do with marriage. So have no fear. Rather nurture the relationship with love and care. Rest will follow. If you give her love and respect and the needed freedom and care there is no reason why she should leave you. As to the uncertainty it is always there in life and the only way to counter it is to live with courage and faith, have trust in the Divine Grace, do your best and leave the rest in God’s safe hands.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Growing up, I always felt that sex was something that should happen after marriage. But honestly, it was never really about traditional or moral beliefs for me. It was more because I have been doing sadhana of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo, and somewhere within me, I always wondered—why should an emotion like lust or sexual desire come into this? 💞🪷 […]

September 18, 2026

These are three different things that must be seen each in its own right.

Firstly, sex and yoga: as far as most yogas are concerned, including Sri Aurobindo’s Yoga sex is seen as an obstacle. This is not so much because of moral reasons but simply because spiritual life means turning the consciousness and vital energy higher upwards and deeper. Sex, on the other hand pulls it outwards and downwards. This is so because of the pull towards the body. Bodily and vital pleasures are at crossroads with the higher aspiration and spiritual Ananda….

I read the following advice from the Mother to an artist learning to paint: Would you like me to draw birds or animals sometimes? If you like—but drawings from nature are best for learning. I have done this picture without anybody’s help. How is it? Will I be able to learn? ✍️🎨✨ […]

September 18, 2026

Poetry requires an inner hearing, the faculty of inspiration so to say, just as painting requires an inner vision, a faculty that reveals what is hidden in the form. The technique is a framework which can be developed by practice. The inspiration comes through an inner…

I believe that reading The Secret of the Vedas by Sri Aurobindo gives us the real insight into the meaning of the Vedas and nothing more is needed for spiritual practitioners or for those who are looking to gain genuine spiritual insights. 📚🕉️[…]

September 18, 2026

The Secret of the Vedas was my first book too along with The Synthesis of Yoga. While it is no doubt a precious treasure (I had felt floating on cloud nine while reading it), it is certainly not enough for the Integral Yoga. Besides, apart from the conceptual understanding, the actual details of the practice for today’s practitioners is …

ASK ALOK DA

AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER

Ask Alok da

Related Posts

I read the following advice from the Mother to an artist learning to paint: Would you like me to draw birds or animals sometimes? If you like—but drawings from nature are best for learning. I have done this picture without anybody’s help. How is it? Will I be able to learn? ✍️🎨✨ […]

I believe that reading The Secret of the Vedas by Sri Aurobindo gives us the real insight into the meaning of the Vedas and nothing more is needed for spiritual practitioners or for those who are looking to gain genuine spiritual insights. 📚🕉️[…]