AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER

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Home » Relationships » I genuinely love a guy (or atleast I feel that way), but we are not in relationship because we know that we are not perfect for each other. We live at different places so we don’t meet. There were times when we have an argument and we stop talking for months but we endup together. If someone says me anything he cannot tolerate that. But he always tells me that I should find someone for me because he will not marry me, and also he will find someone better and forget me. And even I feel that is the correct thing for me to do. But there are two things I want to mention, when I first saw him coming, there is some sort of bell ringing around me (I know this is sounding very lame) and secondly, when we barely knew each other, I was there at evening meditation around samadhi and I was sitting and next to me there was an empty passage for a people to walk and volunteers over there were not allowing anybody to sit over there, but somehow those volunteers made a line next to me and he went somewhere else and sat but these volunteers told him to sit next to me, and we had a meditation together. This is also very lame thing.

I genuinely love a guy (or atleast I feel that way), but we are not in relationship because we know that we are not perfect for each other. We live at different places so we don’t meet. There were times when we have an argument and we stop talking for months but we endup together. If someone says me anything he cannot tolerate that. But he always tells me that I should find someone for me because he will not marry me, and also he will find someone better and forget me. And even I feel that is the correct thing for me to do. But there are two things I want to mention, when I first saw him coming, there is some sort of bell ringing around me (I know this is sounding very lame) and secondly, when we barely knew each other, I was there at evening meditation around samadhi and I was sitting and next to me there was an empty passage for a people to walk and volunteers over there were not allowing anybody to sit over there, but somehow those volunteers made a line next to me and he went somewhere else and sat but these volunteers told him to sit next to me, and we had a meditation together. This is also very lame thing.

He is peaceful about everything because he has a clarity of mind. And also he is not a follower of Masters. But I am restless as for me there is a strong vital pull, due to which my sadhana is affecting at some level. What should I do?

There is evidently a vital attraction which is very different from love. It usually wears off with time unless there is a strong deep affinity of goals, ideas and interests.

Marraige is a different matter. It requires a deep commitment which can come only if there is some glimmer of true love or else strong earthly bonds of family, habits, customs, language etc. Besides, long distance relationship is very different from living together in close physical proximity. Many unwanted things begin to show up in close proximity that are enough to derail a marriage. It is best not to rush into a lifelong commitment unless you have met physically and lived together for a clearer understanding of each other. It is one thing to appreciate a forest view from a distance, quite another to live in it.

Affectionately

Alok Da

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