AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Relationships

My husband and i were married after being in relationship for 12 years. My family was against our marriage. So it took time. After 2 years of marriage I discovered he is in affair with another girl. We fought a lot and after taking a chance again we decided to have baby. Now we have a daughter, but his affair is continued. First our families were not knowing about it but now both the families know about it and he is not ready to live with us. He agrees in front of everyone that yes I have another woman in life and it’s because he was not satisfied with me 😢[conti]

Loyalty in marriage is rarer than we would want to believe. Especially men in all ages have been known to have more than one woman

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I notice that there are different traits that attract me in different people. I’ve been trying to observe the different elements in me that are being pulled by different sorts of friends and personalities. There is one side of me that gets pulled to people who are pure, refined, cultured, intellectually curious and open. But then there is another side of me that gets pulled to people with a lot of energy, confidence, strength, ambition, and dynamic energy⚡.

Yes a combination of intellectual refinement and vital ambition is generally not found because the full development of mental faculties require a certain mastery over

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Wanted to know how to build a harmonious relationship with parents. This is for me and my wife. We have different value system than our parents. Even different aspirations. But, we are also not detached, very much emotionally attached. We live in different cities, but whenever we visit, it causes a lot of disharmony. There is happiness to meet, spend time, build memories. But, there is an underlying disharmony. They have their strong opinions and they impose that constantly. 😥[conti]

Yes it is quite challenging partly due to the generation gap and partly due to a tectonic shift in the social order itself. Trying to

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In liking a person romantically, I often tell myself, “if it is meant to be, it will happen”. Or, “don’t force things, let them occur naturally and spontaneously”. But the irony is often that when you tell such things to yourself you get into an inactive state and the other person gets into a relationship during that time. In fact my mother told me, “if your father had not openly disclosed his feelings, we would have never married”.🤨 [Conti]

This is not a defeatist strategy but indeed a wise thing to do. One should not push the doors of destiny too hard to force

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Bhaiya, I get easily irritated, especially when my mother compels or pressures me to do something that doesn’t come naturally to me. At times, I also feel the same way with other people who try to exert too much authority over me. I know I shouldn’t let this affect me, but it disturbs my peace of mind and takes me considerable time to recover 😥

The irritation is understandable because one feels compelled. The source of this compulsion is a conditioning that we need to conform to or do what

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What is the place of romance in a relationship—kissing, hugging, showing love, and talking about it? Is that the only form of romance? I feel that in my relationship we have already experienced that part, and now I would like to connect more intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. But sometimes my partner says I’m boring 😥[conti]

Romance is more like the courtship dance in animals. It attracts the boy and the girl through mutual charm and attraction. But as love grows

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What to do in a situation where the person accompanying you is constantly demeaning and insulting your culture (Regional, Indian and Sanatana Dharma) and your belief system, insulting the sanatana dharma. It is difficult to stay quiet, but yet you know that even my words can’t appeal to the person’s preconceived notion. yet you give it a try, but as anticipated, in vain. And within yourself you feel drained in that atmosphere of clashes of opinions😪

It is best to keep an arms distance from such a person as, besides other things, it means that the person is too self-opinionated and

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